Almost home

I considered coming up with some sort of pithy "12 Days of Christmas" style post to describe our whirlwind trip, but to be honest I am too tired!
We are in a hotel in Ohio and hope to be home tomorrow. It was a lovely trip; too short and too busy, but wonderful, as most of my trips to the northeast tend to be. We are coming home with memories of celebrating with just about every family member that we have on the east coast (Patrick and I are probably also carrying a few extra pounds from all of the celebrating).
The girls have enough new toys, books, and clothes to last them quite a while, including Mariel's American Girl Doll and Noella's Leap Pad Laptop computer from Santa. Holden also got lots of clothes, toys, and books. Our baby boy got something that none of the rest of us can compete with: since we started our journey on the 20th he has also gotten his first two teeth.
Pictures to follow some day...

And Away We Go!


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Our journey begins... 10 days, many stops, way too many things to fit into the car, and a whole stack of Christmas music CDs to torture Patrick with.

Mariel's New Computer
Mariel found a paper frame with princesses on it and decided to turn it into her very own princess laptop.  She designed the keyboard with a few special modifications. 

There are "sad" and "happy" buttons if you like or do not like something, a "no" for quick corrections, a macaroni and cheese button (top right, next to the happy button- because those two things clearly go together), and on the bottom row are buttons for: peas, bacon, "Mariel" (in case you need a shortcut to insert her name into a story), cake, soup, and cheese.

Patrick and I are interested in having her design some computers for us.  I think that I would be willing to pay quite a bit extra for an instant cake feature on my computer.

More Noella-isms

Flavrite = favorite.  Noella tells me "This is my flavrite song" every time a new song comes on the radio. 
The Grunch= Noella's flavrite movie.
Turgot= forgot.  As in, "Mom, you turgot to let me watch the Grunch today!"
Flamly= family.  She loves her flamly.  She is, however, a little concerned that we are about to embark on a 10 day trek across the country with only her immediate flamly in the car.  I have explained that we really cannot fit our friends in the car along with our luggage and the five of us, and I think that she understands.  She is very excited to visit our extended flamly across the northeast and has already tried to pack several times.  At the top of her list: cereal.  It is her flavrite.

7 months old

 Holden is 7 months old and, as you can see, very crafty.  This is his most recent project from school- a special jar of hot chocolate for Christmas.  The teachers are very creative with handprints and footprints!

Holden absolutely would not lay down for a full body shot, so we settled for a sitting up photo with Puffalump.  He is too busy for holding still these days!

Sitting, Standing and Crawling

 Holden is now a baby on the move.  He is sitting on his own and can crawl very well. He goes particularly fast if there is an electrical cord, dog, or dog dish nearby.  He can also now pull himself up to standing independently and is pretty steady on his feet.  

Of course, Holden is also not even 7 months old yet!  At least Noella was a good big sister and prepared us for an early mover.

Noella-isms
pommagramma juice= pomegranate juice.  She doesn't like it, but she finds the name amusing.
kajamies= pajamas.  She loves kajamies, or at least half of them.  Nearly every morning (and most evenings, actually) she takes off her top and just sleeps with the pants.
spicy water= sparkling water.  She LOVES spicy water.  Which is sort of funny, because she does not like anything that is actually spicy.
alcrohol= what mommy and daddy drink.  Alcrohol apparently smells terrible, and whenever she gets a whiff of something that she does not like she wrinkles up her nose and says "Ew!  Alcrohol."
(more to come later...)

Things have been quite busy here for a few weeks. I kept intending to write a blog post whining about the various infections (Holden is still battling ear infections, the dog's ears keep getting infected, Noella has a staph infection on her foot), lack of sleep (seriously, what does this kid want?), diaper rashes (because of 3+ weeks of antibiotics), the piles of laundry, a house that appears to be hit by a tornado every day around 4.....
In the past two weeks, we have had several friends go through experiences that put those gripes into perspective.
A 9 month old who had such a severe stomach bug that he had to be hospitalized.  I am relieved to report that he is fine now.
A 35 year old father of two young girls who had blood clots in each lunch, spent several days in the hospital, and just returned with the fear of a heart problem. He was released this morning, but no one is sure where this is going.
And this afternoon I learned that a 5 year old friend of Mariel's has had a recurrence of Neuroblastoma, a particularly virulent pediatric cancer.  She had been declared cancer free for almost a year now, so this took her family completely off guard.  A week and a half ago everything was fine; her mom and I picked out matching clip-on earrings for our princesses and were planning for a time to get together.  They have yet to tell their daughter or her brothers that the cancer is back, because they do not know what to say.  There is no standard treatment for the recurrence of this disease, so they are looking for a clinical trial and, quite literally, a miracle.
At our Thanksgiving dinner, I laughingly said that I was thankful that Thanksgiving dinner was so much harder to make than it used to be.  With three kids underfoot, everything is much harder than it used to be.  And I am so lucky that it is.
Please keep our friends in your prayers.  And count your blessings.  I am.

The Cutest Kids in the World

(a totally unbiased presentation)

 

6 months old!
Holden was 6 months old on Thursday and had his check up on Friday.  He is now 19lbs and 4 oz and 27 1/2 inches... a big but well proportioned boy.
He also has a double ear infection (one in each ear), which was a surprise to all of us.  He has had a persistent cold, but has generally been his very happy baby self.  Since he is a baby in day care, we honestly did not think twice about the runny nose or mild cough.  There were no signs that he had an infection- no fussiness, ear pulling, fever, etc.  I guess if he is going to be sick this is pretty easy on us- although I am not sure how I will be able to tell if he is feeling better!
This is only the second time in my parenting career that I have had to deal with an ear infection and is very different in circumstances from the first.  Mariel was about 8 or 9 months old and it was the first weekend that she and I were officially living in our house in Richmond- we had just come from staying with Carl and Adella in North Carolina at the end of the semester.  We got there on Friday, I think, and were up all night with her on Saturday night.  I remember just holding her in my bed as she cried, wondering why the minutes were taking so long to tick by until the morning.  We had not set up any doctors in Richmond and with no experience in dealing with such an inconsolable baby we went to the ER at around 6 Sunday morning.  The attending doctors seemed quite disappointed with just how ordinary of an ear infection she had and sent us home with antibiotics.
I am keeping my fingers crossed that I have another 5 years to go until my next ear infection!

Happy Halloween

and Holden's First Plane Flight

My parents came to visit for Halloween and got a taste of what it is like on Clark Street.  The only downside of my mother being present for Halloween was the Winnie the Pooh outfit that I was expected to wear... and the subsequent pictures on Facebook.  I had students coming in to class the next day chuckling over them.  The lesson they took from class that day: your parents are never finished embarassing you!

Mariel was Belle, Noella was a ballerina, and Holden was a hippo.  By the end of our very short trick or treating spree (about 5 houses) Mr Holden was a very tired and angry hippo, so he missed the rest of the night.  We had our usual fire out front to greet the 200+ trick or treaters who came by with their jokes.  I should mention that we don't even live on the "busy" block of Clark- the one where there are actual lines to get up on front porches, a cotton candy machine, and other excitement. 

My two favorite jokes of the year:

What do you call a fish with two knees?

A TWO KNEE fish.

and

What is a rabbit's favorite restaurant?

IHOP

The next weekend Holden and I headed to Alexandria, Virginia for a quick getaway with some of my dear friends from graduate school.  They are four bright, interesting, and fabulous women who I truly wish I could spend much more time with- harder now that we live scattered across the country.  It was a wonderful, relaxing, and much needed getaway.  It was also Holden's first plane flight, and he did very well.  He slept most of the time in my arms and when he was awake was captivated by the arm rest.  The only frustrating part of the journey for him was that I refused to let him lick said arm rest... but luckily I had other toys that he could play with, too!

 



Happy Birthday to Patrick!

Patrick's 36th birthday is today.  He had a nice week of celebrations.  Thanks in part to a generous grant from his sponsors (aka his parents), he went to a World Series game at Busch stadium on Wednesday.  The best part- the Cardinals won!  This weekend was a trip to southwestern Missouri.  Bennett Spring State Park is known as a mecca for fishing (at least I am told it is by Patrick, since I do not often discuss the best places to fish) so we headed to Lebanon, MO and a rented cabin.  The "cabin" turned out to be pretty darn nice, with king beds and a whirlpool tub.  Mariel wondered if we should just move there.  It was a beautiful setting, very close to the park itself and right on the Niangua River.

He got in lots of fishing time, with several trout to show for his efforts.  The girls and I adventured around the cabin and worked on craft projects.  Holden took naps, hung around in his Snugli carrier, and looked cute.

 

 

Two Cardinals and a Rally Squirrel

We are ready for the baseball game tonight!

We just came home from church, one of Noella's favorite weekly activities.  Several times a week she asks if it is church day, and she is always excited when that actually comes.  She loves singing and the sharing peace.  I think she also knows that she is incredibly cute and enjoys the attention from other parishoners as she kneels and politely folds her hands in prayer.  Her favorite song these days is something she calls "Lu La Pre Sa."  It took me a little while to figure this out, but it is her version of "Alleluia, Praise the Lord," which Mariel has taught her from the Children's Liturgy. 

Today, the congregation was schedule to hear the choir sang a new song for us- many responsorial psalms and such will be changing soon due to a new translation from Rome.  The church all sat quietly listening, with the exception of one small 2 year old, belting out her own version of "GOD GOD LULA."  She keeps us smiling!

Holden at 5 months

Here are my attempts to get a picture of Holden with Puffalump for his monthly shot.  He is a baby on the move, so Puff suffered quite a bit during this photo shoot.  You can see we have quite a happy, pudgy baby on our hands.  He is starting to roll and scooch himself all over, too- very fun, unless you are trying to take a picture!

Some scenes from the past week:

We went "camping" (we stayed in cabins) at Meramec State Park last weekend.  It was a gorgeous weekend, with lots of friends, beautiful weather, and the chance to hike, fish, and play. 

 Mariel got to bring her class mascot, Truman, along.  He is also the official mascot of our state university, known around here as Mizzou (which at least helps to explain the football uniform).  Each night he gets sent home with a student and the family gets to document Truman's adventures.  He kept up well and had fun with all of the crafts!

 Holden took it all in a stride.  He had fun being spoiled by assorted friends, and Patrick and I enjoyed being spoiled by not having to hold him all of the time!

The activities for the weekend included Beatrice's fifth birthday, complete with a pinata and a borrowed bounce house.  Linda organized a relay race for the families with little kids (three families), and we all got our own team colors.  Here is Noella with her bandana, Truman, and medal around her neck.   

 In other news, we have started to give Holden a few tastes of cereal.  He is in the grabby phase, trying to snatch everything off of the table, plates, and out of our hands.  He is a bit uncertain about actually swallowing the cereal, but seems to be interested in the idea of it. 

 And, since today starts the next round of baseball, here is an obligatory post-season father and son photo op.  Go Cards!

Just call her "Cakes"...

We have been having fun with nicknames lately, with the girls getting to decide what nickname they would like for the day.  Holden, of course, is sort of stuck with "Cutie Pie."  Noella has a strong preference for "Buddy."  Mariel likes a bit of variety, but has tended towards "Baby cakes," which her Babci calls her.  She has decided that "Baby cakes" is a bit too juvenille for a girl of her stature (in elementary school and all) so has asked us to shorten it.  So some days she now goes by "Cakes."

Scenes from apple picking last weekend:

Apple sauce is for the wild and daring
It has recently come to my attention that I am viewed by my students and potentially others as "sweet."  Even more damning, "midwestern." I regularly get comments on student evaluations such as "Dr. Flaherty is a really sweet lady." and similar.  Last week the projector refused to work at an inopportune time during one of my lectures.  As I cursed under my breath, one of the students heard and gasped.  "Dr. Flaherty!" he said. "I do swear." I told him, with a smile.  "I'm a grown up." "I know," he replied, "But you are just a sweet midwestern mom!"
This lead to a little bit of self-reflection. Lets see... Woman in her thirties with three kids and two dogs. Clean house.  Drives a minivan.  Obsesses over sleeping schedules.  Does laundry every night.  Likes to cook.  Has "date nights" with her husband in which they do things like make pickles and watch old television shows on DVDs.
GASP.  Is this what I have become?  Where is my edge? My mystery?  My ability to surprise people with all of my interesting juxtapositions and uniqueness? Instead, I have become a very traditional and yes, very midwestern, wife and mother.  There is little trace of someone who once skinny dipped and hitchhiked and could still cook a damn fine dinner if she made it back in time before heading to the bar.
How do I get that edginess back and persuade my students that I am not as boring and definitely not as sweet as I appear?    Should I start wearing black leather to classes and spit on the students?
Is this what happens when one becomes an adult (and yes, I realize that I have probably made that transition too, but I can only handle one crisis at a time)?
Patrick and I discussed this today.  He seems to feel that even if we move to a different region of the country, I will continue to be wholesome, sweet, and perhaps less midwestern, but still a wife and mother.  Of course, my quest to be wild, dark and dangerous is hampered by the fact that we spent the morning picking apples and I am now canning apple sauce and apple butter.  I fear that food preserving, even with the presence of boiling water, is extremely midwestern, very sweet, and probably wholesome. Gosh darn it, whats next?  Oh wait, I still have buttons to sew back on to Mariel's coat.  And then I will go to bed early....

4 months old!

Holden is officially 4 months old!  If you happen to see Mariel, you will find out that she also turned 5 and a half on the same day (September 10).  She has been telling everyone, which leads to much confusion as the rest of the world does not routinely celebrate half birthdays like we do.

Here is our big man:

 17 lbs and 6 oz (about 90th percentile) and 25 inches (about 50th percentile).  Maybe a football player?

The Accidental Expert
For some reason, a mother of three seems to be considered by many people as an expert in parenthood.  I am suddenly being asked by many people- friends, colleagues, complete strangers- how one "does it".  This is NOT an exaggeration. 
Store cashiers have asked me for labor advice, how to lose baby weight, and about strollers. At one store, the cashier really wanted to discuss her boyfriends ambivalent reaction to her pregnancy... and this was with a line of 5 people behind me.  
Colleagues want to know how to balance work and kids (My answer: there is no such thing as balance in your life.  And if there was, it is likely that you are not a well calibrated scale, anyway).   How to decide what is the best job for them? (Oddly, my answer is that the best job for them is actually up to them to determine, and has nothing to do with what anyone else thinks.  Given our professional obsession with what other people think, this is NOT the acceptable answer in academia.)
 But here is the question: Why does the third child, who is really just born and has not yet given me too much trouble, make me an expert?  I did not get all of these questions with two kids, and certainly not from strangers.  All that I have proven by, say, going to the grocery store with three kiddos in tow, is that I am both fertile and still capable of going out in public... is our bar for parenting so low that this counts as an accomplishment? 
At a conference last week I met a well known scholar who in a panel discussion mentioned the question of balancing work and family.  Her next comment was something about her eight kids.  I'm sorry, eight?  I think that the next time someone asks me for advice, I will refer them to her.

Does this count as modern art?

Mariel enjoyed her first week of kindergarten and was very happy to go back this morning.  She literally ran down the block to get to school.
She must have seen a puppet show or learned something about plays, because she spent most of the evening staging shows in our front room.  While some of the plays were very understandable and reasonably scripted...

Mariel: DAD.  This is going to be a grandmother and a granddaughter.
Dad: OK
(Scene begins)
Barbie 1: Hi! I am the grandmother.
Barbie 2: Hi Grandmother.  I am the granddaughter.

....others were a bit different:

Mariel: Is everyone ready?
Mom, Holden, Noella, Noella's baby doll, and Dad, all sitting in the audience: Yes!
Mariel: OK
(tiny stuffed pig rises over the back of a chair)
Pig: OINK.  oink oink. OINKY.  oink. (this continues for some time)
(tiny pig disappears, large stuffed frog purse appears)
Frog: Ribbet.  Ribbet.  RIBBET RIBBET. (and so on)
(Frog disappears to subdued laughter from the audience.  Tiny blue fairy appears)
Fairy: I am a fairy. I sit (fairy falls off the chair, reappears).  LA LA LA.
(fairy flies away.  pig emerges briefly, then disappears)
Pig: Oink! oink.

We are undecided as reviewers.  Is this modern art?  Avant garde? Or a production in clear need of subtitles?

The Last Day and the First Day

For Mariel's last day before school started she got to stay home with me.  We started out with a "big kid" breakfast of a cheese omelet and coffee milk.

Then she got to decide what we would do for the day.  She picked the zoo, with a very specific combination of birds, butterflies, and zebras.  She also got to try taking some pictures with my camera. 

 The Bird House at the zoo, like several of their structures, is a beautiful old building.  Depending on the mood of the toucans, it can also be exceptionally loud inside.  Monday was a loud day, and I think two of them may have been having an argument.

 When we walked out, we were surprised to see a peacock looking in.  I am not sure if he was teasing the birds inside or wishing he were one of them.

 Tuesday morning was the first day of school! 

It is hard to take an individual shot of anyone when there are younger siblings involved. Noella insisted that she should get to do her hair in a headband AND have her picture taken in front of the door with Mariel for the first day.

 Here is Mariel on her own:

 And the lunch, which she ate most of.  Their lunch time is so short, she said she ran out of time and ended up eating most of it at snack time in her classroom later.

 In front of the door, but with her backpack on:

 And then outside by the Avery sign.  At this point, I should mention, it was about 7am.  School does not start until 8:15 or 8:25, and you absolutely cannot be there until after 8...

 To kill some time, she drew this picture of herself on the first day of school:

 Finally, it was time to walk over to school with her friend, Simon.

 Students go to the gym for a morning meeting everyday.  Parents are forbidden from entering the gym; only kids and teachers and staff.  So, she and Simon held hands and marched themselves in. 

 She was so excited, she almost forgot to say good bye!  No tears from her, that is for sure.

And when I picked her up from the after school program, she asked if she could stay and play longer.  It sounds like the first day of school was a success!