A Room of Anne's Own

2012-01-16T19:47:00.000-06:00

8 months old

... and he sure does not hold still for long!

2012-01-13T14:20:00.001-06:00

The Misguided Pilots of the St. Louis

One of our family's favorite Christmas gifts came from my cousin, a helicopter pilot. It was technically a gift to our children, but we all know that it was really for Patrick. It is our very first remote controlled helicopter.

Mariel named it "the St. Louis" and we have spent some time outside trying to learn to work our new toy. This generally means that Patrick or I work the remote, Mariel and Noella scream in excitement, the other spouse yells encouragement and/or directions, the dogs cower, and Holden cries at the general commotion.

Patrick and I have been aided in our journey as "Copter drivers" (Noella's term) by our handy "Helicopter Using Instruction."

The poorly translated directions have been less than helpful, but very amusing. The instructions also randomly refer to the helicopter as a plane. For example, we are told that: "Player should stand aside as the plane in the process of charging." and "Do not throw the battery pack into fire for avoid explode."
The flying directions are even more helpful.

Oh, well that explains it.
Patrick and I have had a lot of fun playing with this new toy (don't worry, the kids have too). We have had to put our training on hold during the frigid and windy St Louis weather this week, as the directions clearly call for flying on "windless asunny day." Once we get our windless asunny day, the St. Louis will fly again.

2012-01-01T15:31:00.000-06:00

Happy 3rd Birthday, Noella!

(Holden knows how to party in style)

Merry Christmas!

Noella and The "Baby Computer"

Mariel and "Suzie" the American Girl Doll

Holden's First Christmas

He was a little bit less excited to be my New Year's Eve party date...

2011-12-28T19:19:00.000-06:00

Almost home

I considered coming up with some sort of pithy "12 Days of Christmas" style post to describe our whirlwind trip, but to be honest I am too tired!
We are in a hotel in Ohio and hope to be home tomorrow. It was a lovely trip; too short and too busy, but wonderful, as most of my trips to the northeast tend to be. We are coming home with memories of celebrating with just about every family member that we have on the east coast (Patrick and I are probably also carrying a few extra pounds from all of the celebrating).
The girls have enough new toys, books, and clothes to last them quite a while, including Mariel's American Girl Doll and Noella's Leap Pad Laptop computer from Santa. Holden also got lots of clothes, toys, and books. Our baby boy got something that none of the rest of us can compete with: since we started our journey on the 20th he has also gotten his first two teeth.
Pictures to follow some day...

2011-12-20T08:22:00.001-06:00

And Away We Go!

View Larger Map

Our journey begins... 10 days, many stops, way too many things to fit into the car, and a whole stack of Christmas music CDs to torture Patrick with.

2011-12-18T15:51:00.000-06:00

Mariel's New Computer
Mariel found a paper frame with princesses on it and decided to turn it into her very own princess laptop. She designed the keyboard with a few special modifications.

There are "sad" and "happy" buttons if you like or do not like something, a "no" for quick corrections, a macaroni and cheese button (top right, next to the happy button- because those two things clearly go together), and on the bottom row are buttons for: peas, bacon, "Mariel" (in case you need a shortcut to insert her name into a story), cake, soup, and cheese.

Patrick and I are interested in having her design some computers for us. I think that I would be willing to pay quite a bit extra for an instant cake feature on my computer.

2011-12-15T08:41:00.000-06:00

More Noella-isms

Flavrite = favorite. Noella tells me "This is my flavrite song" every time a new song comes on the radio.
The Grunch= Noella's flavrite movie.
Turgot= forgot. As in, "Mom, you turgot to let me watch the Grunch today!"
Flamly= family. She loves her flamly. She is, however, a little concerned that we are about to embark on a 10 day trek across the country with only her immediate flamly in the car. I have explained that we really cannot fit our friends in the car along with our luggage and the five of us, and I think that she understands. She is very excited to visit our extended flamly across the northeast and has already tried to pack several times. At the top of her list: cereal. It is her flavrite.

2011-12-14T07:44:00.000-06:00

7 months old

Holden is 7 months old and, as you can see, very crafty. This is his most recent project from school- a special jar of hot chocolate for Christmas. The teachers are very creative with handprints and footprints!

Holden absolutely would not lay down for a full body shot, so we settled for a sitting up photo with Puffalump. He is too busy for holding still these days!

2011-12-09T07:32:00.000-06:00

Sitting, Standing and Crawling

Holden is now a baby on the move. He is sitting on his own and can crawl very well. He goes particularly fast if there is an electrical cord, dog, or dog dish nearby. He can also now pull himself up to standing independently and is pretty steady on his feet.

Of course, Holden is also not even 7 months old yet! At least Noella was a good big sister and prepared us for an early mover.

2011-12-07T20:57:00.000-06:00

Noella-isms
pommagramma juice= pomegranate juice. She doesn't like it, but she finds the name amusing.
kajamies= pajamas. She loves kajamies, or at least half of them. Nearly every morning (and most evenings, actually) she takes off her top and just sleeps with the pants.
spicy water= sparkling water. She LOVES spicy water. Which is sort of funny, because she does not like anything that is actually spicy.
alcrohol= what mommy and daddy drink. Alcrohol apparently smells terrible, and whenever she gets a whiff of something that she does not like she wrinkles up her nose and says "Ew! Alcrohol."
(more to come later...)

2011-12-01T20:13:00.000-06:00

Things have been quite busy here for a few weeks. I kept intending to write a blog post whining about the various infections (Holden is still battling ear infections, the dog's ears keep getting infected, Noella has a staph infection on her foot), lack of sleep (seriously, what does this kid want?), diaper rashes (because of 3+ weeks of antibiotics), the piles of laundry, a house that appears to be hit by a tornado every day around 4.....
In the past two weeks, we have had several friends go through experiences that put those gripes into perspective.
A 9 month old who had such a severe stomach bug that he had to be hospitalized. I am relieved to report that he is fine now.
A 35 year old father of two young girls who had blood clots in each lunch, spent several days in the hospital, and just returned with the fear of a heart problem. He was released this morning, but no one is sure where this is going.
And this afternoon I learned that a 5 year old friend of Mariel's has had a recurrence of Neuroblastoma, a particularly virulent pediatric cancer. She had been declared cancer free for almost a year now, so this took her family completely off guard. A week and a half ago everything was fine; her mom and I picked out matching clip-on earrings for our princesses and were planning for a time to get together. They have yet to tell their daughter or her brothers that the cancer is back, because they do not know what to say. There is no standard treatment for the recurrence of this disease, so they are looking for a clinical trial and, quite literally, a miracle.
At our Thanksgiving dinner, I laughingly said that I was thankful that Thanksgiving dinner was so much harder to make than it used to be. With three kids underfoot, everything is much harder than it used to be. And I am so lucky that it is.
Please keep our friends in your prayers. And count your blessings. I am.

2011-11-16T07:38:00.000-06:00

The Cutest Kids in the World

(a totally unbiased presentation)

2011-11-12T20:40:00.000-06:00

6 months old!
Holden was 6 months old on Thursday and had his check up on Friday. He is now 19lbs and 4 oz and 27 1/2 inches... a big but well proportioned boy.
He also has a double ear infection (one in each ear), which was a surprise to all of us. He has had a persistent cold, but has generally been his very happy baby self. Since he is a baby in day care, we honestly did not think twice about the runny nose or mild cough. There were no signs that he had an infection- no fussiness, ear pulling, fever, etc. I guess if he is going to be sick this is pretty easy on us- although I am not sure how I will be able to tell if he is feeling better!
This is only the second time in my parenting career that I have had to deal with an ear infection and is very different in circumstances from the first. Mariel was about 8 or 9 months old and it was the first weekend that she and I were officially living in our house in Richmond- we had just come from staying with Carl and Adella in North Carolina at the end of the semester. We got there on Friday, I think, and were up all night with her on Saturday night. I remember just holding her in my bed as she cried, wondering why the minutes were taking so long to tick by until the morning. We had not set up any doctors in Richmond and with no experience in dealing with such an inconsolable baby we went to the ER at around 6 Sunday morning. The attending doctors seemed quite disappointed with just how ordinary of an ear infection she had and sent us home with antibiotics.
I am keeping my fingers crossed that I have another 5 years to go until my next ear infection!

2011-11-11T14:27:00.002-06:00

Happy Halloween

and Holden's First Plane Flight

My parents came to visit for Halloween and got a taste of what it is like on Clark Street. The only downside of my mother being present for Halloween was the Winnie the Pooh outfit that I was expected to wear... and the subsequent pictures on Facebook. I had students coming in to class the next day chuckling over them. The lesson they took from class that day: your parents are never finished embarassing you!

Mariel was Belle, Noella was a ballerina, and Holden was a hippo. By the end of our very short trick or treating spree (about 5 houses) Mr Holden was a very tired and angry hippo, so he missed the rest of the night. We had our usual fire out front to greet the 200+ trick or treaters who came by with their jokes. I should mention that we don't even live on the "busy" block of Clark- the one where there are actual lines to get up on front porches, a cotton candy machine, and other excitement.

My two favorite jokes of the year:

What do you call a fish with two knees?

A TWO KNEE fish.

and

What is a rabbit's favorite restaurant?

IHOP

The next weekend Holden and I headed to Alexandria, Virginia for a quick getaway with some of my dear friends from graduate school. They are four bright, interesting, and fabulous women who I truly wish I could spend much more time with- harder now that we live scattered across the country. It was a wonderful, relaxing, and much needed getaway. It was also Holden's first plane flight, and he did very well. He slept most of the time in my arms and when he was awake was captivated by the arm rest. The only frustrating part of the journey for him was that I refused to let him lick said arm rest... but luckily I had other toys that he could play with, too!

2011-10-24T14:33:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to Patrick!

Patrick's 36th birthday is today. He had a nice week of celebrations. Thanks in part to a generous grant from his sponsors (aka his parents), he went to a World Series game at Busch stadium on Wednesday. The best part- the Cardinals won! This weekend was a trip to southwestern Missouri. Bennett Spring State Park is known as a mecca for fishing (at least I am told it is by Patrick, since I do not often discuss the best places to fish) so we headed to Lebanon, MO and a rented cabin. The "cabin" turned out to be pretty darn nice, with king beds and a whirlpool tub. Mariel wondered if we should just move there. It was a beautiful setting, very close to the park itself and right on the Niangua River.

He got in lots of fishing time, with several trout to show for his efforts. The girls and I adventured around the cabin and worked on craft projects. Holden took naps, hung around in his Snugli carrier, and looked cute.

2011-10-16T10:28:00.000-05:00

Two Cardinals and a Rally Squirrel

We are ready for the baseball game tonight!

We just came home from church, one of Noella's favorite weekly activities. Several times a week she asks if it is church day, and she is always excited when that actually comes. She loves singing and the sharing peace. I think she also knows that she is incredibly cute and enjoys the attention from other parishoners as she kneels and politely folds her hands in prayer. Her favorite song these days is something she calls "Lu La Pre Sa." It took me a little while to figure this out, but it is her version of "Alleluia, Praise the Lord," which Mariel has taught her from the Children's Liturgy.

Today, the congregation was schedule to hear the choir sang a new song for us- many responsorial psalms and such will be changing soon due to a new translation from Rome. The church all sat quietly listening, with the exception of one small 2 year old, belting out her own version of "GOD GOD LULA." She keeps us smiling!

2011-10-14T16:56:00.000-05:00

Holden at 5 months

Here are my attempts to get a picture of Holden with Puffalump for his monthly shot. He is a baby on the move, so Puff suffered quite a bit during this photo shoot. You can see we have quite a happy, pudgy baby on our hands. He is starting to roll and scooch himself all over, too- very fun, unless you are trying to take a picture!

2011-10-09T14:00:00.001-05:00

Some scenes from the past week:

We went "camping" (we stayed in cabins) at Meramec State Park last weekend. It was a gorgeous weekend, with lots of friends, beautiful weather, and the chance to hike, fish, and play.

Mariel got to bring her class mascot, Truman, along. He is also the official mascot of our state university, known around here as Mizzou (which at least helps to explain the football uniform). Each night he gets sent home with a student and the family gets to document Truman's adventures. He kept up well and had fun with all of the crafts!

Holden took it all in a stride. He had fun being spoiled by assorted friends, and Patrick and I enjoyed being spoiled by not having to hold him all of the time!

The activities for the weekend included Beatrice's fifth birthday, complete with a pinata and a borrowed bounce house. Linda organized a relay race for the families with little kids (three families), and we all got our own team colors. Here is Noella with her bandana, Truman, and medal around her neck.

In other news, we have started to give Holden a few tastes of cereal. He is in the grabby phase, trying to snatch everything off of the table, plates, and out of our hands. He is a bit uncertain about actually swallowing the cereal, but seems to be interested in the idea of it.

And, since today starts the next round of baseball, here is an obligatory post-season father and son photo op. Go Cards!

2011-09-23T10:24:00.001-05:00

Just call her "Cakes"...

We have been having fun with nicknames lately, with the girls getting to decide what nickname they would like for the day. Holden, of course, is sort of stuck with "Cutie Pie." Noella has a strong preference for "Buddy." Mariel likes a bit of variety, but has tended towards "Baby cakes," which her Babci calls her. She has decided that "Baby cakes" is a bit too juvenille for a girl of her stature (in elementary school and all) so has asked us to shorten it. So some days she now goes by "Cakes."

2011-09-22T18:36:00.000-05:00

Scenes from apple picking last weekend:

2011-09-17T20:56:00.000-05:00

Apple sauce is for the wild and daring
It has recently come to my attention that I am viewed by my students and potentially others as "sweet." Even more damning, "midwestern." I regularly get comments on student evaluations such as "Dr. Flaherty is a really sweet lady." and similar. Last week the projector refused to work at an inopportune time during one of my lectures. As I cursed under my breath, one of the students heard and gasped. "Dr. Flaherty!" he said. "I do swear." I told him, with a smile. "I'm a grown up." "I know," he replied, "But you are just a sweet midwestern mom!"
This lead to a little bit of self-reflection. Lets see... Woman in her thirties with three kids and two dogs. Clean house. Drives a minivan. Obsesses over sleeping schedules. Does laundry every night. Likes to cook. Has "date nights" with her husband in which they do things like make pickles and watch old television shows on DVDs.
GASP. Is this what I have become? Where is my edge? My mystery? My ability to surprise people with all of my interesting juxtapositions and uniqueness? Instead, I have become a very traditional and yes, very midwestern, wife and mother. There is little trace of someone who once skinny dipped and hitchhiked and could still cook a damn fine dinner if she made it back in time before heading to the bar.
How do I get that edginess back and persuade my students that I am not as boring and definitely not as sweet as I appear? Should I start wearing black leather to classes and spit on the students?
Is this what happens when one becomes an adult (and yes, I realize that I have probably made that transition too, but I can only handle one crisis at a time)?
Patrick and I discussed this today. He seems to feel that even if we move to a different region of the country, I will continue to be wholesome, sweet, and perhaps less midwestern, but still a wife and mother. Of course, my quest to be wild, dark and dangerous is hampered by the fact that we spent the morning picking apples and I am now canning apple sauce and apple butter. I fear that food preserving, even with the presence of boiling water, is extremely midwestern, very sweet, and probably wholesome. Gosh darn it, whats next? Oh wait, I still have buttons to sew back on to Mariel's coat. And then I will go to bed early....

2011-09-12T19:44:00.000-05:00

4 months old!

Holden is officially 4 months old! If you happen to see Mariel, you will find out that she also turned 5 and a half on the same day (September 10). She has been telling everyone, which leads to much confusion as the rest of the world does not routinely celebrate half birthdays like we do.

Here is our big man:

17 lbs and 6 oz (about 90th percentile) and 25 inches (about 50th percentile). Maybe a football player?

2011-09-09T15:07:00.000-05:00

The Accidental Expert
For some reason, a mother of three seems to be considered by many people as an expert in parenthood. I am suddenly being asked by many people- friends, colleagues, complete strangers- how one "does it". This is NOT an exaggeration.
Store cashiers have asked me for labor advice, how to lose baby weight, and about strollers. At one store, the cashier really wanted to discuss her boyfriends ambivalent reaction to her pregnancy... and this was with a line of 5 people behind me.
Colleagues want to know how to balance work and kids (My answer: there is no such thing as balance in your life. And if there was, it is likely that you are not a well calibrated scale, anyway). How to decide what is the best job for them? (Oddly, my answer is that the best job for them is actually up to them to determine, and has nothing to do with what anyone else thinks. Given our professional obsession with what other people think, this is NOT the acceptable answer in academia.)
But here is the question: Why does the third child, who is really just born and has not yet given me too much trouble, make me an expert? I did not get all of these questions with two kids, and certainly not from strangers. All that I have proven by, say, going to the grocery store with three kiddos in tow, is that I am both fertile and still capable of going out in public... is our bar for parenting so low that this counts as an accomplishment?
At a conference last week I met a well known scholar who in a panel discussion mentioned the question of balancing work and family. Her next comment was something about her eight kids. I'm sorry, eight? I think that the next time someone asks me for advice, I will refer them to her.

2011-08-22T20:30:00.001-05:00

Does this count as modern art?

Mariel enjoyed her first week of kindergarten and was very happy to go back this morning. She literally ran down the block to get to school.
She must have seen a puppet show or learned something about plays, because she spent most of the evening staging shows in our front room. While some of the plays were very understandable and reasonably scripted...

Mariel: DAD. This is going to be a grandmother and a granddaughter.
Dad: OK
(Scene begins)
Barbie 1: Hi! I am the grandmother.
Barbie 2: Hi Grandmother. I am the granddaughter.

....others were a bit different:

Mariel: Is everyone ready?
Mom, Holden, Noella, Noella's baby doll, and Dad, all sitting in the audience: Yes!
Mariel: OK
(tiny stuffed pig rises over the back of a chair)
Pig: OINK. oink oink. OINKY. oink. (this continues for some time)
(tiny pig disappears, large stuffed frog purse appears)
Frog: Ribbet. Ribbet. RIBBET RIBBET. (and so on)
(Frog disappears to subdued laughter from the audience. Tiny blue fairy appears)
Fairy: I am a fairy. I sit (fairy falls off the chair, reappears). LA LA LA.
(fairy flies away. pig emerges briefly, then disappears)
Pig: Oink! oink.

We are undecided as reviewers. Is this modern art? Avant garde? Or a production in clear need of subtitles?

2011-08-17T12:51:00.000-05:00

The Last Day and the First Day

For Mariel's last day before school started she got to stay home with me. We started out with a "big kid" breakfast of a cheese omelet and coffee milk.

Then she got to decide what we would do for the day. She picked the zoo, with a very specific combination of birds, butterflies, and zebras. She also got to try taking some pictures with my camera.

The Bird House at the zoo, like several of their structures, is a beautiful old building. Depending on the mood of the toucans, it can also be exceptionally loud inside. Monday was a loud day, and I think two of them may have been having an argument.

When we walked out, we were surprised to see a peacock looking in. I am not sure if he was teasing the birds inside or wishing he were one of them.

Tuesday morning was the first day of school!

It is hard to take an individual shot of anyone when there are younger siblings involved. Noella insisted that she should get to do her hair in a headband AND have her picture taken in front of the door with Mariel for the first day.

Here is Mariel on her own:

And the lunch, which she ate most of. Their lunch time is so short, she said she ran out of time and ended up eating most of it at snack time in her classroom later.

In front of the door, but with her backpack on:

And then outside by the Avery sign. At this point, I should mention, it was about 7am. School does not start until 8:15 or 8:25, and you absolutely cannot be there until after 8...

To kill some time, she drew this picture of herself on the first day of school:

Finally, it was time to walk over to school with her friend, Simon.

Students go to the gym for a morning meeting everyday. Parents are forbidden from entering the gym; only kids and teachers and staff. So, she and Simon held hands and marched themselves in.

She was so excited, she almost forgot to say good bye! No tears from her, that is for sure.

And when I picked her up from the after school program, she asked if she could stay and play longer. It sounds like the first day of school was a success!

2011-08-12T13:15:00.000-05:00

Hey Big Boy!

Holden turned 3 months old on Wednesday. Here is he- running a mile a minute. His little legs don't seem to stop much, unless he is alseep. He is crazy in the bathtub- his kicking splashes the entire bathroom (and the parent and siblings giving him a bath). His unofficial weigh in via our bathroom scale: 16 lbs. He is a VERY big boy!

And tall, too- here is a better picture with him measured up to Puffalump.

For a comparison, here is Noella at 3 months:

And a gratuitous shot of Noella today (with an excellent shampoo mohawk sculpted by her father)

Meet the Teacher!

Mariel had the meet the teacher day at her school on Thursday- we walked over with our friend, Simon, who is also starting school. They are not in the same classroom, but I think that both (very talkative) children will make some new friends in no time.

Preschool Graduation!

On the same afternoon, Downtown Childrens Center had the Preschool Gradution Carnival to celebrate those kiddos moving up. Here is Mariel's class with their very energetic (and patient!) teachers, Hillary and Lindsey.

Noella got to come and enjoy the big kid crafts, too.

Tune in next week, for the first day of "big kid" school!

2011-08-09T20:44:00.000-05:00

Noella's New Do

Miss Noella got her first real haircut when we returned from New York. I had been wanting to take her somewhere for a while, as my skills were clearly not sufficient. The final push came after our 17 hour car ride, when she managed to twirl her hair into knots that I absolutely could not get out. So, the next day at 9 am we were at Great Clips. The thing that amazes me is that somehow cutting her hair short has made it actually lie flat (or at least flatter than ever before), rather than sticking up or out all of the time. She looks very grown up!

The kids all went to daycare when we got back, so I could begin to recover from a month away and prep for the semester as well as a conference paper that I have to present in (gulp) a few weeks. Everyone is having a great time. Noella is back in charge of the Turtle classroom, telling all of the rules to her new friends that moved up over the summer. Mariel is clear that she is ONLY in the All Stars until Kindergarden starts, and that she really does not have to do things like nap.

And Holden, while he might not have known what to expect (as can be seen above), has been doing great. He does not nap too well there, but that means he sleeps very well at night when he gets home! He eats like a champ and coos and smiles at whoever wants to talk to him. They just got a Moby Wrap in the classroom and have been experimenting with wearing him around. One teacher has confessed that she may be spoiling him, but I sure don't mind!

2011-07-16T21:18:00.001-05:00

Still Here (or at least somewhere)
We have not fallen off of the face of the earth. The kids and I are in upstate NY on Lake Ontario, enjoying a much cooler summer and many more family visitors than we would have seen in St. Louis. It has been a busy two weeks, made more so by the addition of the baby to our usual family vacation.
He is now two months old- here is the official picture:

(Note-It is a puffalump body-double- My mom has her own here)

Here are some of the things keeping us busy:

Seeing our relatives

Boating

Swimming

Fishing

Tubing behind the boat

Laundry

Picking wild berries

Picking wild flowers

Walking the dogs

Washing the dogs (particularly Hudson, who enjoys rolling in goose poop)

More laundry

Visiting with friends and their many children

The county fair (hooray!)

The Can-Am (Canadian American) parade

Bike riding

Walking and running

Laundry again

Nursing

Refereeing between the girls

Feeding my kids and eating

Potty training

(do I need to mention the laundry?)

Loving every minute of being here

Things that we (or at least I) have not been doing:

Sleeping more than 4 1/2 hours in a row

Work on my conference paper for next month

Watching the single Netflix movie that I brought from St Louis

Taking pictures

Wanting to be anywhere else in the world

Happy summer

2011-06-19T15:12:00.000-05:00

Assorted events in Holden's first 6 weeks

Here is a run down of some recent and not so recent events.

Not so recent:

Early baby baths at about a week and a half old.

First "playdate" at 10 days old. It mainly involved sleeping for the babies.

His first trip to the zoo:

Some sisters were more interested in having their picture taken than others...

(you may note that many of these firsts seem to involve being asleep in his stroller)

And the most recent event: A "Sip and See" Party in Holden's honor, held at our neighbor's house last night. Lots of sips, delicious food, and generous gifts of lots of diapers and wipes.

There were even monogrammed cookies!

We look good together, don't we?

Mariel also had her first week of summer camp: Princess Camp at a local community center. Their "coronation" was on Friday, and involved a crowning and recital. The Princesses lined up for their performance...

There was choreography, although the girls did appear at times to be doing their own dances (or, in the case of one princess, laying on the floor).

Here is Mariel receiving her crown, which she designed herself.

2011-06-16T15:12:00.002-05:00

Anne and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day (although it is getting better)

I think that I could rewrite the book today. It was a long morning. It started off well enough (depending on when the "day" begins, it could have been at 12:30, 3, or 4:30, when I got up with the baby), coffee and oatmeal before the girls got up. My potty training Noella went right on the potty, and then 20 minutes later pooped in her underwear. Into the car we went, to discover a cracked windshield. We got Mariel to Princess Camp (her summer activity of the week), then stopped at the grocery store, when Noella managed to find Mariel's water bottle and dump it all over herself. Screaming baby in tow, we stopped at the store bathroom for a try, then did our quick grocery run. On our way home... she peed in her car seat. Nice big puddle. We stripped on the porch, got the groceries inside, got Noella new clothes, changed the baby, did a few things before running out to get Mariel. Of course Noella went on the potty again before leaving the house, and on our way home from camp she still peed in her car seat yet again. More puddling action (glad for leather seats!), another strip act on the front porch, a bathtub quickly piling up with clothes and car seat parts.
(Note that our daily routine involves sitting on the potty about every 30 minutes. And that she has been totally dry except for when she sleeps for days. And that Mariel just watched the Potty Training Success DVD yesterday and has been offering lots of helpful pointers today, such as "Potties go WHOOSH when they flush, Noella")
Did I mention that Mariel announced that she had another bloody nose right around this time? She got one last week- this was the same. She looks up and the lower half of her face is covered in blood. It stops immediately (Thank goodness!), but it is both alarming and spectacular to see.
The windshield man arrived and took out my windshield, only to discover that the replacement windshield he had put in the back of his truck had cracked... so off he went again. While on the front porch I opened the mail and discovered that my health insurance had rejected the $5000 bill from the hospital because of a failure to precertify the stay (I called twice prior to having the baby to be told that I did not need to precertify for childbirth). Gasp.
Inside to feed the girls some lunch (with several trips to the potty for Noella) and nurse the baby. As I ferry their dishes to the table our cranky baby starts grunting and straining.... and Mariel's eyes open wide. "Mom... your leg...." Noella smiles "Cutie Pie's pooping again!" as it shoots down his leg, down my leg, and pools on the kitchen floor. Sigh. Our Lysol and washing machine are getting a workout today.
Post lunch- much better. Windshield is fixed, Noella is napping (in a pull up), Holden is napping (after a bath and fresh clothes), laundry is in, car is disinfected. Health insurance customer service agent agrees with me and has sent my bill back for review, and assures me that it should be cleared up in 7-10 days. Mariel and I ate two big bowls of popcorn and played a game of Fancy Nancy dress up, so things are looking up. I hope.
So I don't think that I will need to move to Australia.

2011-06-13T20:17:00.000-05:00

One Month Old
Holden weighed in at 11 lbs 4 oz this morning and was 22 1/4 inches. He is following in the footsteps (and extra chins) of Noella as an infant. Here is the traditional monthly picture, although since Holden was not too interested in posing for me I have included two.

Holden is generally a good baby and (thankfully) takes substantial naps during the day, which frees up my hands to deal with the girls a lot. He obviously eats well, and he is starting to take more interest in the world around him. Ceiling fans and being outside are usually good entertainment. He does OK at night, although both Patrick and I would love a bit more sleep. The good thing about the third child is that we are relatively resigned to exhaustion, and also have reasonable hope that we will sleep again... someday...

2011-05-15T20:07:00.000-05:00

40 weeks

Holden Thomas Flaherty was born on Tuesday, May 10 at 11:46 am. He was 7 lbs, 3 oz and 20 1/2 inches long. He was officially at 39 weeks, 2 days and in a dramatic reversal from past pregnancies, I practically begged the doctor to induce my labor. This time around it was 13 hours of labor after the pitocin drip (compared to 9 for Noella and 26 for Mariel), and the "easiest" of the three. Not to say that it was in any way pleasant or painless, just that it was easier to manage than the others. Knowing it is my last time probably helps.
So, for the first time a 40 weeks picture with the baby already in it! I am much happier with him on the outside! He is a beautiful baby, perfect and healthy in every way that we can tell. So far he seems to have a nice disposition, but as he is only 5 days old he might still be waking up. He really enjoys eating, which seems like a good sign. His big sisters both adore him, which is wonderful to see. Noella was a bit nervous in the hospital, and on her way out after first meeting him she asked if he could be put back in my belly. This made me a little bit nervous, but once we came home she has been enthralled with "her baby" and keeps wanting to hold and kiss him. Mariel, of course, has been in love for months already.
So, with Cutie Pie's arrival blogging may slow down a bit... but it is for a good cause!

2011-05-08T20:29:00.000-05:00

Random....
39 weeks pregnant after two and a half weeks of "pre-labor" (most people probably call it false labor, but that just sounds sort of depressing). I did not do this with the girls- I had plenty of Braxton Hicks contractions over the course of their pregnancies, but did not have these repetitive, 20 minute apart contractions that just go nowhere... for days... It is getting pretty old. I am feeling quite ready to have this baby, and a little bit guilty that I am probably not appreciating my healthy pregnancy as much as I should be. I am very, very fortunate for my good health, the health of the baby, and the fact that this is the third time that we have been so blessed. On some levels I recognize this, but on others I am ready to reclaim my body from this alien, no longer have my legs go numb or my internal organs punched at any moment.
Thoughts from Noella:
Noella has been talking a lot lately, and many of her baby-isms are disappearing. She is very interested in the baby in my belly (although I am afraid that the reality of the baby will be quite a shock to her!). For a while now, she has been very concerned when the baby causes me pain. If I wince at a kick or punch, she will stop and ask "Baby hurting you?" and give me a gentle pat, admonishing "No, no baby." Somedays she will stop and grab her stomach and tell me "OH! Baby hurting me!" because of course she is sure that she has a baby in her belly too. Today while in the bathtub she grabbed her stomach and said in great surprise "Baby is coming out!" (No worries- no baby came out). Maybe she is understanding more of this process than I think! I am a little jealous that her baby is coming out before mine. And impressed that she had planned a water birth.
Thoughts from Mariel:
Mariel's vocabulary is also expanding greatly, and she is spending a lot of time trying to figure out new words. We spent a long time the other day discussing the proper use of the word "irritating," for example. Tonight I read her a story from Beauty and the Beast, in which Belle's father is described as a "genius to Belle" but considered a "crackpot" by the townspeople. Mariel looked at me in shock and said "Oh, Mom, that is not a nice word." I shook my head. "It means crazy," she continued, "and is a really mean thing to say. But Mom? You know who is a crackpot?" I shook my head because I really had no idea of where she was going to go with this. "Bullies. Bullies are crackpots. And dragons too, I think." She is probably right. I have not met any sane dragons lately.

2011-05-02T13:05:00.000-05:00

Mariel's first day of preschool, Sept 2008

Mariel's last day of preschool, April 2011

Mariel and Noella, last day of preschool April 2011 (Noella will return in August, when Mariel heads to elementary school!).

2011-04-25T07:58:00.000-05:00

Happy Easter!

We were up early for lots of Easter basket fun, with lots of arts and craft projects. The Easter bonnets were a big hit (good job, Grandma) and even matched our pajamas! Easter morning seemed to begin a bit earlier than Patrick and I were ready for. Surely Jesus waited to rise until a reasonable hour- at least 9 or 10am?

After church, we tried a photo session for an Easter portrait. The pictures are good indicators of what happens when you are a child and get up early, eat goldfish for breakfast, go to church, have some candy, and are desparate to go to your friend's house to have an Easter egg hunt (and more candy).

This last one is my favorite. Not sure I will be framing it, but perhaps it will be saved until Noella's wedding or graduation or other large public event.

The Easter egg hunt and brunch at the neighbors were a lot of fun. The kids managed to get in the egg hunt in between bouts of rain and then head inside for more sugar.

And on an unrelated note, me last weekend at 36 weeks. Now at 37, so hopefully he is starting to consider being born. One more week of classes and then I am very ready!

2011-04-08T09:58:00.000-05:00

Princess Mariel and GG

Mariel drew this picture a while ago of her great-grandmother and her. She is VERY proud of it. She told me "Mom! This is my first good picture of a wheelchair!" I found it today as I was clearing out the pile of children's art work on my shelves, and it is being sent right off to GG!
(PS- If you know my grandmother, you may be surprised by Mariel's portrayal of her hair. Maybe she got a new wig?)

2011-04-01T13:00:00.000-05:00

What do you do...
When you are two and stuck at home with a stomach bug for the third day, when you don't really feel sick, but you can't go to school and have already played with every toy in the house and you are tired of reading stories and its too cold to spend a long time outside and you can't play with friends because of your germs?

At our house, we now have very, very clean Barbies.

2011-04-01T12:56:00.000-05:00

Stained Glass Windows

(courtesy of Grandma)

2011-03-28T14:48:00.000-05:00

Oops!

I have been reminded that I forgot to post the picture of my growing belly at 30 weeks pregnant. So here it is, three weeks late:

Lets just hope the baby is better at staying on time than I am.

2011-03-25T20:01:00.000-05:00

Dear Baby Boy Flaherty,

Your sisters are very excited to help take care of you.

They practice their skills on their baby dolls every day.

I REALLY hope that you are tougher than our baby dolls.
Enjoy the peace and quiet in there.
Love, Mommy

2011-03-23T08:13:00.000-05:00

The Lonely Parent
Our society puts a lot of emphasis on the value of individualism. If you work hard, if you learn to stand on your own two feet, you can do anything. If you fail or stumble, just work harder. In many ways, I believe in this. I teach my children this. And yet, I spent most of yesterday being confronted and reminded of all of the ways that it can hinder us. Because this idea, this goal, also seems to imply that we should not need to ask for help and that we should not air our problems. Our problems are our own fault, of course, so we need to- on our own- figure out how to fix them.
This, of course, is rarely a good course of action. A student of mine failed a course for a mistake that she does not fully understand. To her, an excellent student, this is the end of the world. And she- of course- does not want to talk to anyone about it. We have all been 22, we have all had these moments- and yet we survived. Noone can take away the pain, but being able to share those feelings of panic and being reassured and perhaps even comforted helps a little. Because her life is not over, her career is not over. I can help, others can help her... but only if she can resist the part of individualism that says that needing help is bad. She will still have to work hard on her own and learn from her mistakes, but reaching out will make it so much easier.
One friend has just shared a miscarriage. What a horrible, lonely, scary place to be in. And yet, she had nothing to do with it, no control, but still likely feels in some way like a failure. I have had other friends go through miscarriages in the past, and many of the sentiments... along with the reluctance to share them... are the same.
I am also hearing from a few friends who are new parents lately who are struggling with some of the transitions. They are bright, incredibly capable young women with successful careers and truly accomplished lives. And yet, the introduction of one tiny infant has totally upended that identity and all of that success. Because no matter how smart or experienced you are, a newborn is hard. The transition to parenthood is hard. Pretty much everything about the experience is challenging, unfair, and confusing. It is also beautiful and amazing, but I think too often we forget to mention the less than beautiful elements of it. The problem is (and I have been there) that these wonderful, intelligent people who have been raised and done well by this notion of individualism are convinced that they should and can figure out how to deal with everything on their own. Which is, when you consider it, sort of silly. Because we have no training, no experience, and really no good way to prepare. And these newborn bosses, lets be honest, are very unreasonable and hard to predict. Unfortunately, they seem to stay that way for a while...
I think for many people the isolation of our American lives makes this much harder. Many of us are away from extended families, from those people who already have seen our dirty laundry so it is easier to share it with them once again. We should be relying on the network of friends that we have, but this is also hard. The exposure of admitting a problem is so very hard, so embarassing... often because we don't realize that others are or have been in the same place. Every so often at my house, we start off a morning with two children wrestling one another and screaming in bed, refusing to get dressed and go to the bathroom, not giving me time to eat breakfast or make my lunch, much less get everyone out of the door with enough room to be at work on time. I end up screaming, frustrated, angry, and exhausted. By 7 am. Seriously, who do I want to tell that to? But it happens. And I know (because I have told it to others) that other parents face this too.
I think that one of the best lessons that I had in being a brand new parent was through the luck of living near some relatives before and after Mariel was born. They are a caring, wonderful, successful couple who I admire very, very much. They are devoted parents and have a beautiful, smart, funny, well-behaved daughter that anyone would think is perfect. And I still saw moments where they were frustrated and unsure of what to do next. Isn't it odd how comforting that can be? How instructive? Because really, we can't do everything on our own. If they did not know everything, it was definately ok if I did not know everything. Sometimes we need help, a new perspective, or advice. Or just to know that we are not alone, that everyone else is not perfect, and that everything is not our fault if something goes wrong.
So parents, expecting parents, future parents, just know that noone is perfect. That we all need help. We are all learning how to do this, and there is really no right answer. And everything is not your fault. No matter what your children tell you when they are teenagers (or, in my case, 5 years old). Because we want to teach them that they are responsible for their own actions and choices, that they need to work to be independent and capable and do things on their own. But when they get there, remind them that it is ok to be unsure, and that it is always ok to ask for help. And that you were (or maybe still are) just as lost and unsure as they are.

2011-03-22T15:08:00.000-05:00

Changes
I have been thinking about the many changes in my life over the past few years as we get ready for "Cutie Pie Flaherty" (Mariel's name for the baby). This weekend, amidst normal chaos and exhaustion, there were a few object lessons in how parenthood has changed me.
1- I now prefer to shower with an audience. If there is a child sitting in the bathroom while I shower, it means that said child is not getting into trouble, wrestling a sibling, injuring themselves, or making a mess.
2- Nudity is normal. Someone is generally in a state of nakedness or liable to take their clothes off at any minute in our house (I should clarify that this is rarely Patrick or I). Mariel changes multiple times a day. Noella spent part of one morning running around naked except for a strip of pink tulle wrapped around her stomach, tied off with a gold bow. She looked like a sumo wrestler's hallucination.
3- Potty talk is also part of the normal state of affairs. Noella is (still) potty training (see point number 2). Mariel is 5. So it is not unusual at all to have announcements at various times of the day related to poop, pee, farting, or peoples' "bummies." It is also not unusual to have an audience while I am going to the bathroom- and sometimes this even gets me an M&M as a reward.
4- Quiet is bad. I get nervous when there is no yelling, screaming, singing, talking, banging, or other noise. If both kids are actually awake and quiet, it generally means someone is doing something that they are not supposed to- or they are contemplating such an act. Despite this, I long for quietness. Someday it will come again.
5- I worry a lot. I guess that I always did, but now it is about entirely different things. Unlike the possibility of quietness in my house, I don't think that this will ever change.
There are MANY more things to add to this list, although most of these thoughts are a bit more melancholy. I am getting to the sleep deprived/ hormal/ over emotional state of pregnancy and am having a day where I constantly seem to be saying the wrong thing... not a good combination. So I will let my list end here, and go back to work!

2011-03-11T08:19:00.000-06:00

Birthday girl
Mariel is officially 5! We celebrated with two parties this week.

On Sunday- with Aunt Kate, Uncle John, Grandma and Papa, and many miniature princesses, we had a princess tea party:

We decorated crowns for "pin the crown on the princess"

Played princess bingo

And of course, had princess presents

And a pink princess castle cake

She may be five going on 16...

On Thursday (the actual big day) we had a pizza dinner party with more friends.

This time we had princess cupcakes. Mariel was very practiced at blowing out all five candles!

And of course, Noella has been cooking away all week to get ready for the parties!

2011-03-11T08:07:00.000-06:00

Household updates...

From around the house: new bookshelves from downstairs (trim has now been added). They are gorgeous and have tons of storage.

If anyone wonders why I don't want more "stuff"- this is what newly created storage space looks like in my house.

We also have a new closet, which is sort of hard to take pictures of. We now have multiple hanging levels, built in storage, shelves and drawers for clothes and odds and ends...

And shelves for shoes! Hooray for shoes!

2011-02-24T19:09:00.000-06:00

Out of the mouths of babes
When I was pregnant with Noella, I took Mariel shopping with me in pursuit of a reasonably professional looking maternity suit (a difficult task). I also discovered on that trip to the mall that size small was really not going to work anymore. After some unsuccessful try ons, Mariel, age 2, ran out of the dressing room yelling "Mommy needs bigger pants!" Fabulous.
Today, Noella carried on the tradition, although (thankfully) in a private setting. After I got her dressed we went into my room so that I could get dressed. As I stood there in my underwear holding up clothes she looked at me and my belly sadly, shook her head, and said "Mommy, that no fit." Thanks kid. And it did fit.

2011-02-22T12:45:00.000-06:00

The list that never ends...
Our household projects have taken over our lives. More of Patrick's life than mine, actually, but when he is devoted to tearing down closet walls and using power tools, I get the task of weekends and evenings unassisted with our girls. So we are both TIRED. And the weekends are busier than the weekdays. Of, course, we are hindered by the fact that my body is just worn out by getting through the day. On days when I teach I generally can do nothing else that requires physical effort- washing dishes is an accomplishment.
The good news: Downstairs bookshelves, done. Master bedroom closet, done. (well, both still need trim, but in the grand scheme of things, I consider them done). Guest bedroom to be, half painted. Guest bedroom closet and girls' room closet- pits of despair, clutter, and disorganization. Girls' room to be, definately not painted. So were are at least halfway there. And it seems like these projects are easier. We are also looking forward to some visitors and may be pressing some of those visitors into service!

2011-02-14T18:57:00.000-06:00

In Mariel's preschool classroom they routinely work on identifying emotions and discussing how to deal with them. This is a very good exercise for our passionate child, although she sometimes comes up with some odd examples of what makes her feel "sad" or "happy" or "excited." Not as odd as some other children, such as a classmate who said that feeling "peace" was like a "refrigerator," however.
Today I saw the list of things that make them feel "embarassed" and had to laugh. On the board:
"I feel embarassed when:
Mariel: My dress is not long enough."
I guess she does actually pay attention when we tell her to put something on under her dress because we can see her underwear! Patrick hopes that this feeling of embarassment over too short clothes lasts through her teenage years...

2011-02-09T08:26:00.000-06:00

New words
We are enjoying this phase of Noella- excuse, me- Ella's language development. While there are still plenty of things that we can't understand, her growing and creative use of words is exciting. It is also reminding us of the funny things Mariel said when she was two.
Some examples:
"Hair Dog"- hair dog is everywhere in our house. On our clothes, in the tub, even on the dogs.
"Caper"- blanket. We have no idea where this word came from, but we really love our capers. The dozen or so baby blankets that have filled our house for 5 years with no real purpose are being used every day. They wrap babies, they make hats, we just carry them around. Really, you can't have enough capers.
"Rogi"- Macaroni. Our favorite food. The next favorite is pizza, which is now pronounced correctly by Noella even if I sometimes still refer to it as Peetzey.
"Wake it up." This is how she likes to greet me when I come into her room in the morning. "All done bed. Wake it up." If Patrick is still in bed she likes to tell him to "Wake it up" too. It reminds us of Mariel use of "Shut it up, Mommy" when she was two.

2011-02-04T10:05:00.000-06:00

Room to Grow
There is definately a baby in there. He is kicking, streching, and doing his best to keep me from sleeping at night. It is hard to imagine that I still have 14 weeks to go (and likely more, considering the reluctance of the girls to be born). Here are long overdue shots- the first taken when I was about 20 weeks pregnant, just after Christmas:

And this one from this week, at 25 weeks. While my belly may be growing, apparently the rest of me may not be. At my last checkup, the doctor, nurse and I were all quite surprised to discover that I had somehow lost weight. Odd, that my very first experience of having lost weight without any trying or intention is not pleasant. I am also trying to figure out where it came from, as I am feeling very large and am to the point where I waddle rather than walk. For the last week and the next three I have assignment of consciously trying to regain 4 lbs. Cheese and peanut butter are my friends. And even more perplexing than the discovery of unexpected weight loss is the discovery that when you HAVE to eat fattening (but still relatively healthy) foods, they suddenly become very unappealing.

The other big news is that Mariel registers for Kindergarten on Monday. She is feeling VERY mature. At the informational meeting last night, the biggest reaction from the crowd came when they showed a slide of "Kindergarten class of 2011; Graduating class of 2024." Funny to think about, isn't it?

2011-01-28T13:12:00.000-06:00

Operation Baby: Its all about storage
We are in the process of getting ready in multiple ways for baby. A major part of this is finding a space for the baby. Patrick is in the midst of constructing new bookshelves for our sitting room (Phase 1). This means that we will have more storage and can move games, puzzles, spare coats, and an assortment of other items out of closets and into the new cabinet space.
Then we move on to redoing the master closet (Phase 2). Our closet is currently the most alarming (to me) space in the house, with strange pegboard, lots of cobwebs, and sagging shelves. This will mean moving some storage from another closet, adding new shelves, and reconfiguring hanging space. It should also pull some things from our guest room closet, making way for the renovation of THAT space.
Currently, the guest closet is full of all of the crap we don't know where else to put and has, strangely, one long wall open to the studs. Phase 3 will be the guest closet because Phase 4 is turning the guest room into a SHARED bedroom for the girls. Pray for us, as I hope this is a successful venture. Mariel is happy with the idea. She has actually already moved in, saying she needs to sleep in there now "just in case." (This does make me wonder what she thinks the other possibilities are. Is she concerned that we will rent the space out to another child?)
The last major step will be turning Mariel's room into the guest room/ study, which will also mean redoing that closet (Phase 5). Noella's room will get a coat of paint and be baby ready.
You have likely noticed that I am envisioning this entire process as an issue of storage- we just need to reorganize our stuff and we will be all set. I seem to have some problems getting my brain around the idea that I will need to reorganize (or simply give up all hope of organization) in my actual life. You would think that this realization would come easier after living through it twice before, but I seem to be in denial. And so I focus on the closets, because those I can control.

2011-01-20T20:01:00.000-06:00

Dear Two Year Old:

1. I am glad that you are potty training your baby dolls. I am also very glad that you are working on potty training yourself. Can we work on not reusing the toilet paper that has just been used to wipe your bum to also wipe your nose? Daddy seems to think that this is gross.
2. Yelling "THAT THING" over and over while wildly pointing does not actually help me figure out what you are talking about.
3. For your own safety, I think it is a little dangerous that one of your first elaborate sentences is "Mariel acts like a baby!" I think it is really darn funny, but still might be something that you want to forget. Or at least wait until you are bigger than she is.
4. A piece of lint or dog hair in the bathtub is not the end of the world. Please stop crying and shrieking when you see it. There are much more reasonable phobias to develop, like fear of being sucked down the drain with the bathwater.
5. You are a great dancer. I have never seen a child come up with the moves that you do, and I hope you never stop dancing.
6. The only thing worse than dealing with your crazy, loud, wild, demanding, fickle two year old self is knowing that someday you won't be two anymore. And I will really miss it.
Love,
Your mommy

2011-01-15T19:19:00.000-06:00

The Bible: Not for kids? Or not for parents?
Mariel and I have ended up with quite a range of reading adventures. From Laura Ingalls Wilder to Alice in Wonderland, we sort of skip and hop through whatever book we have on hand. For the past two months or so, our addition to the normal bedtime story reading has been a "children's version" of the Bible. As far as I can remember, I got this book as a gift around the time of my first communion.
There is one thing that has become painfully clear: the Bible, in any version is NOT FOR CHILDREN. Every so often we have encountered a story that does not include blood, violence, terrifying imagery, or death, but that is rare. You can only read the creation story so many times before you get right back to the Adam and Eve, the Garden of Eden, Cain and Abel... well, lets just say there are lots of discussions of why these are things that we do not want to do.
Prior to Christmas we began reading sequentially through the beginning of the New Testament. I still remember last year, when Mariel trotted back into the pew at Mass to tell me about what she learned at Children's Liturgy. Her summary went something like this:
"Mom! Baby Jesus is born! They are coming to see him! But the King is going to kill all of the babies."
(Me, not really listening until the killing of babies comes up) "Wait. What did you learn in Children's?"
Her: "Herod is going to kill all of the babies." Very cheerfully. "Then we sang Alleluia!"
Well, now she is getting more of the story. She was enthralled yesterday by the picture of Jesus chasing the money changers out of the temple. The illustration (in, may I remind you, THE CHILDRENS BIBLE) has a furious Jesus whipping people as they fall over each other trying to flee him. Not quite the image of a gentle, loving, forgiving deity that I have been trying to perpetuate.
I am (obviously) having a few doubts about our Bible readings at age 4. But Mariel loves it. On days when I forget she reminds me. She is captivated by the stories, asks lots of questions, and seems to spend lots of time processing whatever we have been reading about. I am far more squeamish about it than she is. And so we go on. I am already nervous about getting to Easter time.

2011-01-10T19:13:00.000-06:00

Many apologies for the lack of photos from Christmas. I have been checking in to the blogger website periodically and there are problems with the photo uploading application again. Maybe I just have bad timing. I supposed that if this is the thing that is bothering me, I have a pretty nice life.
So, without pictures, the highlights of the holidays:
Snow!
Santa brought bagels!
and a scooter!
Both sets of parents visited, resulting in very spoiled children!
WAY too much food eaten!
But wait- I am supposed to gain weight! Best Christmas week ever!
And we found out that the baby is going to be (or I guess already is) a BOY. Oh, my!

2010-12-28T11:18:00.000-06:00

Scenes from Noella's Second Birthday

2010-12-28T10:59:00.001-06:00

Update: Birthday Party photos from the 16th

2010-12-19T21:01:00.000-06:00

Happy (almost) Birthday Noella!
We celebrated Noella's birthday with a small party on Thursday. It was fairly simple (pizza- aka "pit-sey"- salad, and cookies) and very fun. I have some cute pictures that blogger is not letting me upload to the website, so you can imagine Noella's angelic and sauce smeared face until the application decides to work again. The official day is the 23rd, so there will be another celebration soon.
I submitted the last of my grades for the semester on Friday afternoon, and am enjoying a few deep breaths before diving back into work for the next semester. I have even watched two entire movies this weekend, and only checked my email about twice a day. Strange.
I always get nervous to see emails from students after I post their grades, generally expecting messages that read "Hey %#*@&, why the *&^# didn't I get an A?" I was so genuinely pleased to open the emails (at least so far) and read messages along the lines of "Thanks and have a nice break!" I'll take messages like that any day!

2010-12-13T18:44:00.000-06:00

Mutiny
In the 20 minutes that it took to leave our house, get Mariel from ballet class, and return home, the dogs managed to wreak havoc on our home. They have been so well behaved for the past few months that now I can only think that they have been biding their time and plotting.
First, I spotted the plastic bag of (cloth) dirty diapers from Noella's day at daycare. They actually shredded a CLOTH diaper to get at the... well... you can probably guess. Given Marley's love for poopsicles this time of year, I can only guess that it was her. Next, the tupperware that had been on the kitchen countertop that had also contained the remnants of spaghetti sauce was found in the dining room. It no longer had any sauce inside, but at least they also seem to have cleaned off the floor. Then Mariel found a container of white-out on the floor from my work bag which I had brought home- and the bag was still on the bench where I had carefully placed it. The tupperware from my lunch that had also been in said bag was nowhere to be found, and despite very LOUD threats to the dogs (apologies to the neighbors) neither of them would tell me where it was. Eventually I found it, with half of the lid chewed off, under the ottoman. The dogs have not moved from their beds in an hour, and Hudson is still shaking. I don't feel sorry for them at all.
The human girls also seem to have been plotting, although it is a much less malicious plot. For reference, see my post from last week about their recent love of vegetables.
Today, they both decided at dinner that they no longer like:
green beans
carrots
broccoli
shrimp
and linguine.
This made my dinner of shrimp and veggie pasta a remarkably unsuccessful venture.

2010-12-07T19:23:00.000-06:00

Dear Santa,
We would like a Christmas filled with love, joy, and carbohydrates.

Love,

the Flahertys

(below is the letter Mariel sent to Santa via Elf Mail- also known as our dining room fireplace- on Sunday).

2010-12-03T14:51:00.000-06:00

Quick thoughts on food
Our diets have taken a strange turn in the past few weeks.
I, for one, would prefer to eat nothing but meat and fatty food. I think about bacon constantly. For lunch today, I ordered and devoured my very first double bacon cheeseburger ever. Not only did I eat it faster that you would believe possible, but I almost immediately wished that I had another one. I exercised an immense amount of willpower and did not get a second burger. I went home and ate tortilla chips dipped in sour cream instead.
At the same time, the girls are fixated on vegetables. Broccoli, green beans, you name it. I never in my life would have imagined a parent actually saying to a child at the dinner table: "If you want more broccoli, you have to eat some of your steak." This happens, with some variation (with green beans and chicken, for example) several times a week. Maybe there is some sort of nutritive osmosis at work here, and the kids and I just have to balance out between the three of us somehow.

2010-11-30T20:20:00.000-06:00

Follow up...
Just wanted to share that, amazingly, the whole Christmas card promotion things really worked. And you can expect a really snazzy card in the mail- I just ordered them.
I am always suspicious of these sorts of promotions, because I have nagging doubts that they are just some bizarre scam or joke, like those emails that ask you to forward to 12 people OR SOMETHING HORRIBLE WILL HAPPEN TO YOU. Really, it doesn't. So, in this case, something good actually came out of it. And I am pretty pleased. And you will be too, when you see the girls' smiling faces.
Of course, all of this supposes that I have the energy to address the cards and buy stamps and mail them out. This has to fit into my very challenging requirement of sleeping as much as possible. The past two days after a week off for Thanksgiving break have been hard. I mean, how am I expected to function on less than 10 hours of sleep? Seriously?

2010-11-26T14:17:00.000-06:00

Christmas Card season
We had holiday portraits this morning and are starting to think about holiday cards! This year I am planning to do a Shutterfly card, in part because of a great promotion for bloggers to get 50 free cards if we write about their holiday collection (Thanks, Karyn!). The major dilemma is how to match their beautiful offerings (Shutterfly holiday cards) with our potential photographs. Too many choices! Some options on our side from today:

Or from their session at school:

The odd blessing of this year is that we have fewer cute portraits than last year (when choosing between them was just impossible). Still, I think that we have some wonderful options. I am also quite amazed that I have so many good pictures of them looking wonderful together- perfect for a Christmas card. I am thinking that we will have to go with one of the multi-photo cards on the Shutterfly site. And just for a quick trip down memory lane, here are two photographs from last year:

They look so much more grown up this year! How fast that happens.

Another cool thing to share about the Shutterfly site is the other gift options that they offer, like calendars or mugs. We have also done stationary notepads before, which were very cute even if my mother in law was concerned about using them up because they were so cute.

Happy Holidays to all! Look forward to your very own card in the mail someday soon-

2010-11-26T13:50:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving
Here is a brief run down of our Thanksgiving, in pictures. There is no pictorial evidence of tantrums, fights over baby dolls, or me falling asleep on the couch at 6:30, which I am sure means that none of those things happened.
Morning craft project (with a very serious Noella):

Mariel's turn:

Some of the results:

Another project:

Snack/ lunch during the Patriots' game. Mariel ate most of the cranberry goat cheese, Noella focused on the gorgonzola. Patrick and I got a few bites in, too.

The girls. And yes, if you are one of the few people that Mariel did not insist on calling to tell the news, that is snow outside. We went from tornado warnings in the middle of the night to snow in the afternoon.

Relaxing and cuddling in front of the TV. This was actually an affectionate moment, as opposed to our normal wrestling.

A (not so great) photo of the Thanksgiving table. The ghostly hound in the background is Hudson, wondering how she can get her share.

Happy Holidays!

2010-11-23T10:12:00.000-06:00

Third times a charm
There are a few things that are different about my third pregnancy. For one thing, when people ask how far along I am or similar questions, I often have no idea. I know that I am, in fact, pregnant and that I will have a baby in the spring, but the interim steps are a little vague. Not quite the same as with Mariel, when I diligently read up on what was happening every week and sometimes every day.
Patrick is much more accustomed to some of the ongoing annoyances of having a pregnant wife. He is not surprised when I become deeply overwhelmed by tasks such as finding my phone charger or getting a humidifier out of the basement. He is also taking my total absentmindedness much easier this time around. On Saturday I took the girls to the mall, telling him I would be back in an hour so that he could take Mariel on another errand. The second I got in the car I promptly forgot, returning over two hours later with starving, tired children and surprised that he had not already accomplished said errand.
As for me, I am generally less worried about the pregnancy than I ever was before. For a constant worrier, this is a new experience. But now it seems silly to worry- from weight gain to changing tastes to nosebleeds to ligament twinges, I have been there before. And recovered just fine. And my babies turned out just fine. Twice. And if something is not going to be fine, I have somehow realized that it is absolutely beyond my control, and worrying about it will get me nowhere. I only wish that this sense of assurance and faith could somehow expand beyond the arena of pregnancy! Perhaps on my third time through life? Maybe I need to consider a conversion....

2010-11-20T15:54:00.000-06:00

The new ride

I feel like a mom. Funny how it was not having the two kids or expecting a third that makes me feel like this, but the van does.

Also....

The girls and I went to the mall for a quick gift buying expedition this morning. We were a little surprised to meet Santa there. Mariel asked for a scooter (to which Santa eloquently replied: "OK") Noella refused to speak to him, except to show him her snack and proclaim "BAGEL" several times. Will we find a box of bagels under our Christmas tree? And, honestly, is there anything else that would make Noella as happy as unlimited bagels?

2010-11-12T12:28:00.000-06:00

Toy Gnomes
Yesterday evening, a conversation between me and Mariel:
Me: "Why is there a big pile of sand next to and under the couch?" (not asking about her shoes, sitting next to the pile).
Mariel: "I don't know. It was someone else."
Me "Noella?"
Her "No. Must have been someone else."
Me "Who else could it be? Daddy?"
Her "No. I think it must have been the toy gnomes. Yes, mom, it was the toy gnomes."
Me (wondering where this would go. "Oh, ok. I guess that is what happened." I swept up the sand.
A few minutes later she told me she did not think it was the toy gnomes and it might have been her, by mistake. But she sort of forgot about it. And she forgot that she was not supposed to dump the sand out of her shoes in the house. I said that I was glad that she told me the truth, because otherwise the toy gnomes would have gotten in trouble for something that they did not do. They might not even have been allowed back. She agreed that she made a good choice by telling the truth, and said that she would try to remember where to dump her sandy shoes for the next time.
I am very relieved, because if I had to ban toy gnomes from the house I would have to come up with some new creature to threaten to take away toys. For my sake, I hope the toy gnomes continue to behave themselves.

2010-11-09T18:04:00.000-06:00

Behind
I am not a good blogger this week- you will all have to forgive me.
As some of you already know, we are expecting Flaherty baby 3 in May. When I found out in early September, I called Patrick at work and announced it with this news: "We are going to need a van."
This (the pregnancy, not the need for a new vehicle) means that I am very excited, and very worn out. I am torn between wishing the time would fly and needing it to slow down. I find myself in a very busy few weeks at work (so of course, I spend my time wisely on my late night at work by... blogging) looking ahead to the long list of things that I would like to accomplish by the end of the semester. Some are possible, some are absolutely necessary, and some are not very likely to happen. At home, I have a constantly evolving to do list, although thankfully most of those items are far from necessary.
While all of this competes for my limited energy, along with the two girls, dogs, Patrick, and general day to day needs, I am afraid that the blog may suffer. So be forgiving if it takes me some time in between posts these days. I have a baby to grow.

2010-11-01T09:31:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween!
I flew back Sunday morning after a quick getaway to Florida with friends from college. It was a lovely (and warm!) weekend with lots of relaxing and eating. As much as I would have liked to stay, I had to be home for Halloween night.
We had a fairy princess (of course) and a pig. For the past two weeks, every time that Noella put on her pig costume or even saw her costume she ran around yelling "MOOO!" and laughing hysterically. Of course, as soon as I tried to document this via video, she reverted to "OIK." Still cute, but definately not as funny.

We went to our neighbor's house for dinner and a little costume party. There were multiple princesses, all with nice coordinating outfits.

Our favorite part of halloween here is the joke telling that all the kids do to get their treats. Mariel insisted on a fairy joke:

What is a fairy called when she has not taken her bath?
Stinkerbell!
We did not have a true favorite of the night this year. The two most popular jokes of the year:
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poke her face.
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
And the winner for the most inappropriate joke of the night (told by a girl I would guess to be about 8)
Why couldn't the witch have any children?
Because her husband had a hollow weiner.

2010-10-25T19:25:00.000-05:00

Quick update...
I caved. After two nights of a very sad, very tired baby and an equally tired, although more frustrated than sad mommy, Noella got her "Pac" back. We'll work on this later.

2010-10-23T19:55:00.000-05:00

Update on our weekend:
Patrick worked a bit on our soon to be fully functional and newly renovated downstairs bathroom. He also got taken out to lunch for cheeseburgers. Tomorrow is his 35th birthday. He is not a cake person, so I made pumpkin pie (from a pumpkin, not a can) for the event. Hopefully the pie experiment tastes as good as it looks!
Noella clipped a lanyard with a clip for an ID card to her tongue, an experience that I somehow found to be sort of horrific and funny at the same time (with an ice cube or two she felt just fine). Right now she is attempting to sleep without her pacifier. We told her we lost them and don't know where they are. If she keeps fussing like this all night, I think I might remember very soon.
Mariel had an afternoon playdate with our neighbor, B. They worked on a haunted halloween gingerbread house, which is now covered in orange icing and candy. It was very entertaining to listen to them talk while they crafted. I am also constantly amused by the way that they greet each other. You know how the stereotypical romantic movies has the long lost lovers dramatically running into each other's arms? This is what these two girls do, nearly every time they encounter one another. They call out the other's name and race to hug/ tackle each other. Despite the fact that they live two houses away and see each other virtually every day. On the weekends, sometimes multiple times a day. Parting can also be just as dramatic, despite the fact that they will likely see one another within 24 hours.
Tomorrow is pumpkin carving and hopefully not much else!

2010-10-16T13:04:00.000-05:00

Last weekend at the Pumpkin Patch

2010-10-12T09:01:00.000-05:00

What my children have recently taught themselves:
Mariel-
to tie her shoes
to whistle (OK, she had some help from her dad on this)
to put a ponytail in her hair

Noella-
to strip herself naked and pee all over her bed

A sample of our morning commute songs:
In the darkness, with diamonds,
Glow GLOW Glow GLOW
In the darkness, with diamonds,
Glow GLOW Glow GLOW
....

I have a friend
named Glee
she goes
Under the (cajun?) sea
and she is happy
and everyone
loves her!

2010-10-05T20:39:00.000-05:00

And the magic begins to fade...
Last month, I blogged about our mysterious inability to prevent rattlesnakes. Patrick and I have had a good long run of complete authority, with the ability to cure boo-boos or create helpful creatures with the right touch of creativity. Toy gnomes, for example, visit our house every so often to take toys that are left out at night. When they take a toy, they get to keep it until they grow bored of it (so you had better hope it is not a really exciting toy). Then they bring it back. They are unquestionably real in our house.
Two nights ago, Mariel woke up with nightmares and came crying to our bed at 3:15.** She ended up sleeping there with Patrick and I went to her room. This DOES NOT happen at our house; unless someone is very, very ill everyone sleeps in their own beds. This is mostly due to my intense need for personal space and inability to sleep when someone is touching me... but that is a whole new topic. Back to Sunday night/ Monday morning. All family members involved woke up tired, and so Monday night I had a bedtime plan. I sprinked Mariel's entire room with dream dust to keep the bad dreams out. I did it again. And again, scooping more and more imaginary dust off of her dresser. I tucked her in and left. When I came back an hour later she was still awake.
"Mom, it did not work." she said, sadly. "I can't sleep because the dreams will come back."
"I can put more dust out." I said, attempting to be convincing. "I must have just not had enough in my hands."
"Oh, Mom, no." she replied. "That was just imaginary. It does not really work."
And so Mariel got to fall asleep in our bed. Which did not happen until 10:30. The good news is that tonight she was so exhausted that she climbed right into her own bed and fell asleep right away. Let's hope there are no nightmares tonight, as I don't know what my next response will be now that my magic powers have faded.
**- The nightmare was apparently about wolves chasing her, biting her arms and trying to eat her. It sounded pretty scary to me.

2010-10-02T09:56:00.000-05:00

A sampling of the quilts of the summer...

2010-09-29T20:08:00.000-05:00

Meramec State Park

We spent last weekend at Meramec State Park with a group of friends and a lot of small children. It was fun, loud and exhausting. A nice part of the "plan" is that while there are plenty of opportunities for everyone to get together, there is also lots of time for people to split up and do what they want. Saturday morning we did just that.

Noella and I went for a hike in the woods

Patrick and Mariel went fishing on the river

And then the four of us hung out by the river. The girls spent a lot of time throwing rocks in (apparently much more satisfying than fishing).

Later in the afternoon, the kids and parents tie dyed shirts, socks, handkercheifs, you name it. This is the start- more clotheslines were added as the afternoon progressed.

Later we went for a 90 minute tour of a cave. It was good exercise and a bit of an adventure- a lot of tight spaces to get through, especially for me with Noella strapped to my back!

There were three girls around the age of four on the trip, and they spent a lot of time hanging out and coloring in the play tent. Don't let the tent fool you- we really stayed in beautiful cabins!

2010-09-21T12:40:00.000-05:00

The Morning Commute: A Rock Opera
Every morning, whether it is Patrick or I dropping the girls off at daycare, we are treated to a song. Mariel's flair for drama can be overwhelming at times, but her creative songs often make our day. This morning, it was in a volume and style that would have made Freddie Mercury proud.
Good morning SUN!
I love God and to share with my friends
I love my friends
I share my love with God
I share my love WITH MY FRIENDS!
Its like a playdate with my heart.
Every day.

While Mariel sings Noella accompanies with:
MAMA!
DADA!
DOG-GY!
over and over, in the manner of a percussive instrument.

2010-09-17T20:29:00.000-05:00

Some photo updates:
This is what our backseat often looks like:

Mariel falls asleep easily in the car; Noella pretty much never does (even, say, on two day journeys to New York). So Noella usually just laughs at Mariel while she flops and drools.
On our trip to CT, however, we seem to have rented a magic car:

We need to get one of these for ourselves.

At my brother's house we celebrated Mariel's half birthday with-what else?- chocolate cake. She got to do the sprinkles on top of Kate's delicious icing.

While the girls did not go to the reception for the wedding (Mariel went to the church, Noella napped) they did enjoy the rehearsal dinner, referred to as the "big party." There were a few games, and Noella was very, very interested in playing the basketball game (which is meant for probably 10 and up). Grampy helped her out:

The wedding was gorgeous, as were the newlyweds. They danced the night away, including the most entertaining and well choreographed first dance that I have ever seen. (This is not it, just a picture that I snapped later!)

Final update: Noella is moving up. The crib disappeared today, and she is sleeping out in the open on her crib mattress, with the intention of moving up to her regular sized mattress shortly. She fell asleep without much of a protest, even when a certain parent decided to barge into her room and take pictures with a flash.

2010-09-16T21:33:00.000-05:00

Where've you been?
Where have I been? Mostly trying to catch up on sleep. It's been a roller coaster ride here for a few weeks. To make a long (emotional) story short, my uncle was killed in a motorcycle accident on Sunday, September 5. It was a shock to our family and network of friends, to say the least. The memorial service (which I could not get to) was held on Thursday night.
Friday at 6am Patrick, the girls and I took a flight into Hartford, CT, and then arrived at my brother's house just a few minutes after he and his wife finished their journey home from the memorial service. We got to spend a day visiting with them and admiring their home. Mariel filled them in on her friend, Alvin. "He likes to drink..." (she paused and my brother and I started to laugh at this statement)..."milk and juice." The girls played with Phinny. John and Pat got to do some plumbing after a rusted bolt on the upstairs toilet caused Kate to come out of the downstairs bathroom with a worried expression, saying that it was raining from the ceiling.
Saturday the four of us drove back to Hartford for assorted celebrations in honor of Lee, Patrick's cousin, and Patrick (yet another Patrick in our lives!). The rehearsal dinner on Saturday was lovely, as were the wedding and reception on Sunday. We had a great loft style hotel room with lots of room, but Mariel still resisted falling asleep so by Monday morning we had ourselves quite a tired girl. We got some bonus time with Jay, Carl and Emilie and Grampy and Babci on Monday when our flight, scheduled to leave at 10am, was delayed and our new arrangments did not have us leave until 5pm. It was a nice day of catching up a bit, looking at pictures, enjoying company without any plans. Noella took and nap and I trapped Mariel in a bed until she fell asleep for an hour or so (I do mean this literally- at one point I had her pinned in a wrestling move on the bed). Eventually- around 10pm Monday night- we made it home. So yeah, I think we are all still a bit tired and out of it. And I am off to catch up on more sleep and be done with my computer for the day.

2010-09-05T14:29:00.000-05:00

Mariel's Boyfriend
Mariel and I took a quick trip to go shopping today. On our way into the store, she told me that she has a boyfriend.
"Who is your boyfriend?" I asked.
"Alvin." She said.
"Isn't Alvin your brother?" I asked, considering the complexities of this situation.
"Not anymore. This Alvin is my boyfriend."
"Oh," I said, "What do you and your boyfriend do?" I was actually very curious as to what she thinks about this.
"Oh, you know. He takes me shopping, and to new countries." She raised her hands in the air, as though this is a strange question to ask since all boyfriends go shopping and jet their girlfriends around the world on a weekly basis.
"How did he get to be your boyfriend?" I asked.
"He likes my clothes, Mom. He has a lot of nice clothes, too. And more shoes than me. And we like the same food, especially carrots. Alvin is always eating carrots. And he eats macaroni and cheese, even though he doesn't like it too much. He eats it because I like it." I tried hard not to laugh, and will admit that I think boyfriend Alvin sounds like a pretty nice guy.
"How do you know about boyfriends?" I wondered.
"I just know, Mom. I learned by myself." She said. "And you know what? Alvin's eight."
And since Alvin is such a fan of shopping, he decided to join us. In fact, he had to stand his imaginary self next to Mariel for the whole trip. Luckily he was not thirsty this afternoon, so he didn't need to share her chocolate milk.

2010-08-30T19:34:00.000-05:00

No Rattlesnakes Allowed: The Making of a Movie
We have a problem at our house. Its the rattlesnakes. Up to this point, Patrick and I have been very effective at preventing all sorts of creatures from disturbing our home: we simply do not allow mean dragons, angry giants, or scary monsters. They can't come in unless they play nice. Apparently our powers do not apply to rattlesnakes, which Mariel is certain are a deadly threat in suburban St. Louis. Mariel's concern with rattlesnakes comes and goes; we might manage to forget about them for a few days, and then one morning wake up to her yelling and screaming in her bed, unable to get out until we make sure there are no snakes underneath. I have put invisible rattlesnake traps all around the house, especially under the porch, installed rattlesnake alarms, and Hudson and Marley have been fully trained in rattlesnake prevention (which, according to Mariel, primarily involves eating them). My parents even helped research rattlesnakes on the computer and at the zoo so that she could learn about their normal habitat (ie- remote desert!) and such. All this, to no avail. Today, we took the next step and posted warning signs all around our house, on the playhouse, and under our beds. Here is Noella's sign for the playhouse and Mariel's for her bed:

We also made a public service announcement, just in case those snakes can't read.

Now there is no excuse for the snakes to miss the warning, and we hope that the entire family wakes up tomorrow to a quieter house.

2010-08-28T13:29:00.000-05:00

How (not) to pick up chicks
At the gym Friday morning, I had an interesting encounter with one of the personal trainers. I was riding the bike, happily listening to my ipod when we ambled over. He's not the most... svelt... personal trainer, so he's a little hard to miss. He is also one that I have never met or worked with, so I was a little surprised when he stopped to talk to me. "I'm S**** (name removed to protect the guilty)" he said. They call me "BS" for Big S****." Well duh, I think. "Can I give you a compliment?" he asks. I am not sure what my options are here- can you really respond no to that? "Um, OK." "You have great arms," he says. "I've been admiring them." "Thank you." I respond. "Its from carrying around my two children." He looks a little less excited at this, but continues to talk for a bit while I nod and look longingly at my ipod. As he winds up, he gives me a fairly creepy once over sort of look and smiles. "Remember, my name is BS. If you need me, you just ask for me." "Sure," I reply, thinking that he is very full of BS and wondering why, precisely, I might need him. He starts to walk away. "What's my name?" he asks. "BS," I say obligingly. "Its good to be remembered," he grins. "Yes," I respond. "For whatever reason that may be." He seems to think that this is a good anwer and smiles again.

*******

This morning we met Emily and the boys at the Botanical Gardens. After a long morning of adventures, we split up right before heading out. Mariel and Noella and I got on the elevator and headed down to the exit. The doors opened, and a family with two boys waited while we got off. The older boy, maybe about 5 or 6, stood, staring at Mariel. She paused, not sure what to do with the attention. Looking right in her eyes he said in a loud voice: "Wow, she is really cute!" and then took his mother's hand to walk on to the elevator. His parents and I laughed and the mother sighed. "I guess it starts now," she said.

2010-08-25T19:59:00.000-05:00

What to do when your kid can s-p-e-l-l?
It had to happen eventually. I mean, our family has had smart dogs that can recall the sounds that make up basic, necessary for daily life and happiness words such a t-r-e-a-t and w-a-l-k. So why should I be surprised that Mariel has started to figure a few things out, too? Only kid essentials, like z-o-o and i-c-e (and really, does she need to know how to spell the second part of the word? If we are spelling "ice" it is most likely leading to ice cream, because if we were just talking about regular old ice we would not need to spell, would we?)
This may really put a damper on adult conversations and planning. I am not sure how Patrick and I will communicate anymore, as many of our conversations regarding the kids now involve spelling key words. Maybe we need to learn sign language?

2010-08-21T20:04:00.000-05:00

Out and About
Patrick captured some cute images today with my camera. We were at Mariel's friend's birthday party. He was turning 5 and had it a Bounce U, where they have all sorts of crazy inflatable games and things. Personally, it was not my cup of tea... but then again, I am not a preschooler at a party. I am sure that my 4 year old self would have loved it. In honor of the event, Mariel even dressed herself in her "sporty" outfit. Not a hint of pink, so it might be hard to recognize her. All of the kids had a great time. Noella was also pretty excited, although she needed me with her to go on the various play things.

In the tunnel

Down the slide (what we thought was the big slide...)

Noella loved all of the slides! I just had a hard time climbing up the kid sized inflatable chutes to get there.

This is not quite as steep and long as the photography makes it look... but it was pretty high! This was in the second room, after Mariel mastered the other slides, and invovled climbing like a spider monkey through several layers of nets to get to the top. I did not go on this one!

Mariel and the birthday boy playing dogeball.

The birthday party assembled (or at least those who could be herded together).

2010-08-14T18:46:00.000-05:00

Faith, Doubt, and a 4 year old
Mariel asked in the car on Friday a very good question. "Why doesn't God give warnings, Mom?" she asked. "Like if bad guys are going to kill people or something. Why doesn't God give a warning?" Darn good question, kiddo. As parents we give warnings all of the time, which is I am sure what she was thinking about. If our kids are going down the wrong road, we give a warning to help steer them back. But sometimes we don't know that it is the wrong way, I guess, and maybe even the most attentive parent can misread a situation. But Mariel is in a stage of certainty: there is a God, and he is all knowing. Which means that she wonders why he is not warning the bad guys (as in: this is a BAD choice. don't do it.) or the people getting hurt (as in: you might get hurt today if you go to X place. go somewhere else!) Why are there no warnings for people caught in floods, in car accidents, in wars that they have nothing to do with? I sure don't know the answer.
This week a dear, dear friend of mine (a wonderfully loving woman the same age as me, with two small children, married to another dear friend) was diagnosed with Stage 2 non-Hodgkins lymphoma. She went in to the doctor on Tuesday because of veins that had popped up on her chest. A rapid fire chain of tests, CAT scans, biopsies, and appointments later, she was diagnosed with cancer. By Thursday they were ready to start her on chemo and radiation as quickly as possible. This was two days after what she most likely expected to be a routine appointment. Another woman I know from Mariel's old school, another young woman my age with two small children, was diagnosed with breast cancer last week. She is also very healthy, no family history or warning signs, and went in to the doctor because she had a milk duct that kept plugging (she was weaning her toddler). Why don't they get a warning? Why can't they make a different choice?
So I don't know why God doesn't give warnings. I told Mariel that God tries to teach us in other ways, by giving us friends and family who help to teach us what is right and wrong and how to be good, strong people. And that when people make bad choices, God is sad, but he still loves us. And if people need help, he is always there to love them. That seemed to be a good answer for her for now, even if I don't feel that it is enough of an answer for me. What do you say when your children start asking the same questions that you don't know how to answer for yourself? Like why isn't life fair, or why do people doing everything right sometimes get the worst outcomes?

2010-08-11T09:56:00.000-05:00

Another conversation with Mariel
Patrick really should come home earlier. He is missing some great dinner conversations.
Last night, Mariel asked me where water comes from. Not sure quite sure how to explain the molecular structure of water to a 4 year old, I hemmed and hawed a bit. She stopped me. "No Mom, I mean where does it come from? To get into the house?" OK, on to civil engineering. I talked about the water pipes in the city, and water supply systems and how in places where there are not too many people there are usually wells instead.
"So here we have pipes, but Grandma and Papa don't have pipes to bring them water to their house?" She asked.
"Right. They have a well."
"That's because too many people are dead in New York," she proclaimed with confidence.
"Ummm... what? I mean there are not as many people who live there." I said this and realized that my wording probably confirmed her theory.
"Right. Because they died. See, Mom, its this way." She started drawing imaginary lines to form a map on the dining room table with her hands. "Over here are the dead people. Over here is where Grandma and Papa live. So they are alive but the other people are not. And they don't need water since they are dead, so Grandma and Papa have a well."
At this point I am really not sure of what to say, so I let her keep going.
"And up here, Mom?" Waving her hands over her head, then pointing back to the invisible map. "Up here is heaven. God is up here. God does not need water either, so he does not have a well or pipes."
Obviously.

2010-08-09T21:26:00.000-05:00

Maybe she should be in charge...
I once read a blog post that made me want to laugh and cry in recognition, all at the same time. The mom described a half crazed trip to the home improvement store with three small kids in tow and an upset stomach. She had to make a mad dash to the bathroom, then negotiate how to manage the situation. She describes sitting on the toilet with an infant on her lap, another child holding her hand, and the four year old holding the mom's purse over her shoulder and watching the whole scene with disapproval. The mom in question reported feeling (besides generally sick and miserable) sort of disoriented, as though she had become the repentant child and her four year old had become a tiny, angry parent. I sometimes have moments like that with Mariel, where I wonder if maybe she is (or should be?) the one in charge. Sometimes these are moments of borderline insanity, others are more heartwarming.
Tonight we had one of the funny, warm times when she suddenly morphed into the miniature adult. She, Noella and I sat down to dinner (Patrick was not home yet) and Noella descending into a bad mood. She shoved her plate and cup away and started screaming NO when either Mariel or I spoke to or even looked at her. I said to Mariel "Lets just ignore her for a few minutes. You and I can have a nice conversation of our own." "OK, Mom," said Mariel. She put her fork down, sat up primly in her chair, crossed her legs and took a little breath. "So, Mom, how was your day?" she asked in her best tea party tone of voice. "Can you tell me what your favorite part was?" She smiled and folded her hands to wait for my answer, looking for all the world like an elderly church lady at a very proper luncheon.
I think my favorite part was that precise moment.

2010-08-08T13:56:00.000-05:00

More Breaking News!

Toddler Likes Books! Dog Likes Water!

The last time I brought you newsworthy headlines, Mariel actually tried soup. In more shockingly mundane (for most families) announcements, Noella has actually started to listen to books being read, sometimes even requesting "tories" before bed. Before now, her primary interaction with the written word was to attempt to eat, shred, or sometimes hide the children's books that she did not simply grab and throw back at the person unwise enough to attempt to read her something. So while for most children the act of sitting and listening to even a few pages being read is not unusual, this is a big change around here. Very exciting.

In other announcements, Hudson has had a big summer. She has started to enjoy being in the lake and to SWIM. Yes, this sounds like fairly doglike behavior. But, as many readers know, Hudson only barely qualifies as a dog. Somedays I am close to convinced that she really may be part meerkat or white tailed deer. After an extended vacation in Henderson and with swimming lessons from my mom (involving bread being thrown in as "bait"), Hudson has joined Marley in enjoying to swim. Hooray! Of course, she may have to put her new hobby on hold when she returns to the landlocked midwest in a few weeks.
PS- My quilt projects are all back on track. There will be happy babies all around!

2010-08-06T14:14:00.000-05:00

Caution: Perfectionist at work
We have been back home for a week, adjusting to "normal" life again. Some aspects (farmers' markets, playing with friends, cooking, playing with the girls and their favorite toys, having a nice big house just for the four of us, etc.) are very nice; other aspects are a littler harder to return to (cleaning that same big house, dealing with a garden left unattended in July for three weeks, alarm clocks in the morning, going back to work and so on).
I have picked back up on my quilting projects- currently four baby quilts for various friends underway. I like to do the same phases of things at the same time; cutting, piecing, quilting, binding etc on all of them rather than doing one quilt at a time. This week I have been finishing quilting the layers together. Upon review, after finishing the last with a very nice quilting job, I realized that one poor quilt was not so well done. Someone (there is no need to place the blame) must not have been paying attention or being careful, and there is bunching, warping of the cloth (I like to use flannel, which is colorful and soft but stretches terribly), and all sorts of other issues. I asked Patrick if he saw any mistakes, and instead of picking up on what I thought was a glaring issue in one corner, he noticed that there was a block out of place. Right in the middle. Shame and annoyance, all at the same time.
I woke up this morning with the realization that I will (no question) be taking the quilt apart, taking out all of the quilting stitches and unpiecing it until I can get to the misplaced square and fix it. While I have been assured that the quilt is fine (isn't the hand made look the point of a hand made gift?) I just cannot send this off. I mean, how can I sentence some poor baby to wonder why they got the POS quilt, when there are all of those other babies out there with nicely made quilts? Obviously unnaceptable. You know how particular babies are.
Moral of the story: In quilting, as in pretty much everything else in life, it is always easier if you find and admit to your mistakes early on. Fix them then! Because if you have to go back later, it will be so much harder. (Secondary moral: Don't marry a perfectionist, because it will make your daily life way more complicated.)

2010-08-01T21:50:00.000-05:00

A week in California and Oregon, in pictures (there are many more if you are interested!)
I am so happy to report that the region that I remember as being one of the most beautiful and secluded in the world, the Trinity Alps, still more than meets my expectations. It was wonderful to return, even more so to bring Patrick there. There were a few things that have changed from my long ago summer there- the movie theater reopened! Starbucks! cell phone reception (even on mountainsides)! The wilderness was the same, though- incredible.

Patrick had a good time fishing in an assortment of mountain lakes. I have a photo of him fishing at the lake (Little Boulder) where he caught a rainbow trout, but I was wandering nearby trails and missed the actual photo opportunity. After one day of hiking near Weaverville, we stopped at the bar in town so that I could show Patrick the place I hung out- with my mountain friends, a mule packer (yes, this is apparently a profession) and a pot grower (well, it is California)- the sole bar in town, The Diggins.

After a few days in the Trinity Alps, we headed north to Crater Lake, Oregon.

Absolutely incredible. And, as you can see, I have pictures of Patrick hiking through more snow. He did enjoy the ability to work on his snowball making and throwing capabilities in late July in both California and Oregon.

We also hiked down the only available trail to test out the waters in the deepest lake in the country. I am also willing to attest, after managing to get in all of the way and float, that it is probably one of the coldest (Patrick saw that it was about 38 degrees that day).

The final leg of our journey was to the wedding of one of my good friends in Sunriver, Oregon. It was a wonderful chance to catch up with a group of friends (we rented a house together). And, as one friend noted, Patrick and I did clean up well after our five days of adventuring. Congratulations, Alexia and Tucker!

2010-07-19T15:29:00.000-05:00

A few quick shots from the past week at Henderson Harbor (I am en route to California and very happy for the free internet at the Phoenix airport!). Sorry for the funky alignment... I am not sure how to fix it and you will enjoy the photographs anyway.
The girls LOVE to swim...

Play with friends...

Go boating...

Go "tubing"...

Go fishing...

Look for sea glass...

And every so often... put on a little attitude...

Next vacation spot... California and Oregon, sans kiddos. I will have to take pictures of scenery, as there will be no cute kids to look at. Patrick and I are pretty excited for our getaway to the wilderness... although we are both stuck at airports at this precise moment (him in St. Louis and me in Pheonix) and are not sure exactly when we will arrive there!

2010-07-14T21:57:00.000-05:00

So much fun, so few pictures. I need to do better. Or just borrow my Mom's, since she has probably taken hundreds already! We have gotten in some visits with both old and new friends, family, a lot of time in the water, wild blackberries, dead fish (Mariel has so far caught two pre-dead fish. To her dismay, we have not eaten them), and all of the delights that make up a summer visit to Henderson Harbor.
Tomorrow morning is the annual visit to the Jefferson County Fair. If you don't recall my love of the county fair, you can return to blog postings for July 2009. Thursday- Dairy cow competition, 9 AM. Brown Swiss. I am so unreasonably excited. Oh, yeah- I will bring the girls, too.
The drawback to all of the excitement is some seriously overtired children by the end of the day. Mariel is just killing me with her whininess and drama. Today I had to carry her, literally kicking, up the stairs to get ready for bed. She kicked the wall, at which point I (roughly) put her down and yelled at her. We got into the bathroom, and I asked if she thought I had any more patience. "No, Mom. You have lost your patience," she said. "I think you have lost two patiences." I started to laugh and agreed, "That is probably right." "Its okay," she said, "if you ask nicely you can probably get one back."

2010-07-11T20:19:00.000-05:00

We made it!
Mariel, Noella and I made it to Henderson Harbor after our 2 day journey in the car. We are happy to be here- the girls LOVE the water and the boat, and it appears that their grandparents are also pretty happy to have them around :)
A few surprising (or maybe not) facts about our journey:
20 minutes: the amount of time we were in the car before the first "I need to go potty!" emergency was declared
3: the number of times stopped on our first day for Mariel's emergency potty breaks. Number of times that she ACTUALLY had to go to the bathroom: 1
3: the number of times we stopped on our first day for Noella's emergency potty breaks, which she initiated by screaming "POOP" over and over in the backseat. Number of totally dry/ clean diapers: 3. Number of times that Noella then ACTUALLY went to the bathroom on public toilets: 2. No joke.
0: the number of times that I stopped for emergency potty breaks on the second day of driving (this does not in any way reflect the number of requests).
6: the number of times we listened to the CD of all of Jaime Lee Curtis' books being read. Anyone want a recitation of "I feel silly"?
7,000 (approximate): number of times that I had to play "This little piggy" with one hand reaching into the back seat, equally portioned between two kids.
13 hours (approximate): number of hours that Noella was actively eating during our 16 hours in the car. The remaining three hours she was either asleep, yelling POOP, or shredding paper.
fifty- one hundred- thirty: number of days Mariel says she wants to spend here at Grandma and Papa's cottage. I think this means the trip was worth it!

2010-07-05T18:56:00.000-05:00

Mariel really enjoys singing her own made up songs. Since the musical, her melodies have changed a bit but her creativity in lyrics remains quite remarkable. It is hard for us to walk a fine line between nonchalant recognition ("That's a nice song, hon."), paying what is considered too much attention (which results in a teenager like storm of totally unwarranted rage, such as "FINE. I am NOT going to sing for you anymore if you keep talking!"), and laughing hysterically. Walking home from the 4th of July parade, her song lasted about 15 minutes. Some snippets:

I love God
God loves me
He loves me when I am good
and when I make bad choices
He loves Noella
Even though she bites...

...I try
to be kind
and to share
and not
to eat hot dogs with ketchup
in my bed
that would be
a bad choice
and would maaaake
a biiiiiiig
meeeessssss!
_ _ _ _
Today marks 6 days without hives, 9 days without visiting a doctor.
This afternoon, Noella was pretty grumpy and I carried her around in her Snugli. She started to fall asleep so I put the carrier in the front position instead of the backpack. We went downstairs for dinner. Patrick and I asked her if she wanted to eat and she shook her head no. I walked over to her seat, and she shook her head again. She coughed and made a funny noise, and I said "I don't think I want to give her any dinner if she does not feel well." Patrick says "She's fine! She was coughing like that all morning." Noella immediately vomits all over herself, me, and the floor. She did not eat any dinner.

2010-07-03T20:53:00.000-05:00

More adventures with Lexi:

We went to the zoo with friends (and a great new hairstyle):

(Noella and Freddie holding hands only lasted a moment, but it was cute!)

We had to make it to Ted Drewe's, the classic St. Louis frozen custard place, for Noella and Lexi's first taste of perfection:

Visiting Ted Drewe's for the first time is sort of like being in a foreign country. There is usually a mass of people (late at night, this often spills out into the middle of the street, and people walk across lanes of traffic with abandon), which mills about with no apparent order in front of a dozen windows. There is clear order once you know the rules- you pick your window, place your order (all of the custard is vanilla, the options are what you get mixed in), and step to the side. When its ready you are called by order. Then you can either rejoin the mob and mingle, or do what most people do and sit in or on your car to enjoy your custard. There are no tables or benches, so it usually looks like a strange tailgate party. Noella was NOT happy when she had to let go of her bowl.

And this morning, we went to the Webster Groves 4th of July parade:

... and said goodbye to Lexi. Thanks for visiting!

2010-06-29T21:47:00.000-05:00

Fun with Lexi!

Patrick's cousin is visiting us from Denver this week. We may send her home totally exhausted, but we have been having lots of fun.

Monday we sent Noella to school so that we could have a big girl adventure- we rented a paddle boat on the lake in Forest Park.

(sorry we are so squinty- it was really sunny!)

It took a little bit more work than I had anticipated, but we had a very fun time. It was a little hot in sun, and we were all ready for our picnic lunch after boating. Mariel kept telling us how much work it was and how hungry she was; Lexi and I were not sure how much energy she used up sitting and watching us paddle, but apparently it was quite a bit! We also had some lunch companions, as several birds and ducks seemed to think we wanted to share. We did not, so they were fairly disappointed.

Later Monday night it was time for a major event: Mariel's first musical. I got Mariel, Lexi and I tickets to the Muny (a historic open air theater in St Louis) and the production of Beauty and the Beast. Mariel was SOOOO excited that it even seemed worth an 8:15 showtime. Plus (I'll be honest) I was really looking forward to it myself.

We all had a wonderful time, and she made it all of the way to the 11:00 curtain call. She sat on my lap for much of the show so that she could see the stage, and her little heart was just pounding with excitement for almost the entire time. I think she liked it!

Today was a little bit more low key- we played on the back porch in the morning (after Mariel and Lexi sleeping in a bit). Noella has been enjoying wearing pony tails lately, so I tried to capture the cuteness/ ridiculousness of her new hairstyle!

The girls ended up naked, as often happens when we mix sand and water.

They decided the (closed) potty was a great resting place for a snack.

We went to the pool for the afternoon... lots more fun in the sun! It has been lovely weather in St Louis, which is a nice change. We may take Lexi to the zoo on Thursday- so there will be more pictures soon!

2010-06-27T21:02:00.000-05:00

A little bit of everything...

Mariel's last day with her best friend in St Louis. We had a good play date at the zoo, on a day when it was 100+ degrees. Moving to Pennsylvania does not sound so bad...

Also at the zoo- our first trip to the Discovery Room. It was fantastic- full of great play stations and a reasonable amount of small children (you have to get tickets and each group gets 45 minutes). I did not see Mariel for 40 of the 45 minutes. Noella ranged from the sand table to the chalk board to the ball/ stick blocks.

She loved them so much that she started to get a little bit territorial. No worries- no other babies were harmed.

In less happy news, we have a new adventure with Noella's skin. Hives. I can't even handle writing more about it.

2010-06-25T16:26:00.000-05:00

Noella's 18 month checkup:
33 1/4 inches (still about 90th percentile)
24 lbs (somewhere between 20 and 50th percentile)
So basketball may remain in her future, although sumo wrestling may be out.
She still has a nice pudgy belly, and has started to enjoy lifting up her shirt or dress while out in public to show off her "BEHL!" (this is generally said with an emphatic nod of the head) as much as possible.

2010-06-23T14:14:00.000-05:00

I don't usually blog from work. Something about time managment, training on ethical use of state property (yes, I do still work for the state of Illinois), or similar.
However.... I am actually laughing out loud reading over my class content evaluations for the summer semester. I often have classes do this to comment specifically on topics, assignments, etc along with the more generic ones that they do through the university. I read all of them and usually find some positive, some critical, and generally a few helpful comments. This particlar evaluation strays a bit outside of the standard comments that I tend to get, obviously intended to amuse both the writer and reader, and deserves to be shared. See below:

Introduction to coursse: YAY! The first day of school!

Chapter 1 and Chapter 2: Ya! Its time for school today!

Chapter 3 and primary documents (App 1-5)/ Collective Action Homework: Awesome! Homework!

Chapter 4/ Civil Rights Homework: Wow! This class is still interesting.

Chapter 5/ Paper Preparation/ Civil Liberties exercise: Oh my God, I can’t stop taking notes.

Chapter 6/ Congress Homework: Jesus, why do I care so much?

Chapter 7 and Chapter 8: I'm still interested!

Chapter 9/ Judicial Decisions Homework: The level of awesomeness of this class has reached critical levels.

Midterm/ Jeff Smith documentary: I want to be in Congress.

Chapter 11/ Research Paper/ Cong office visit: Killed that paper.

Chapter 10/ Public Opinion Homework: What? I don’t want it to be over.

Chapter 12 and Chapter 13/ Interest Group Homework: Dumb summer session. Why’d you have to be over?

Chapter 14 and Chapter 15: Yay, school’s almost over!

One more class, and then I get to be out for almost two months. I have plenty of work to do, but am looking forward to a break from the day to day legwork of teaching. So I second the last comment: Yay, school is almost over!

2010-06-20T19:39:00.000-05:00

Happy Fathers' Day, Patrick... and thanks for the new floor!

Only the trim left to go and some details around the stairs... the couch (and the TV!) can go back.

We are all pretty tired at our house!

2010-06-17T21:04:00.000-05:00

Bye bye living room carpet!

To be continued....

2010-06-15T12:03:00.000-05:00

A conversation with Mariel and Noella
Earlier this morning, getting ready to head to the library:
Noella: Moh Moh OOSH!
(translation: "More shoes," or "Put my shoes on!")
Mariel: Oosh, Noella, you want your oosh?
Me (from a distance): Mariel, lets use big girl words to teach Noella how to say them. She needs to learn.
Mariel: OK. Shoes, you want shoes?
Me: Thank you, Mariel. Use big words with her.
A few minutes later I overhear:
Mariel: Noella, Timbuktu. Can you say Timbuktu? That is a big word.